19 July 2008

Death to decorative floral arches

My husband directs Senior High Camp at Fa Ho Lo each year for a week in July. Every night spent there, he returns back to our room no earlier than 2 a.m.

On the particular night when the following events transpired, he returned at 3:30 a.m.

At approximately 4 a.m., I awakened to Aaron sitting upright in bed apprehensively asking, "Hello? Hello?" as if there were someone or something in our room.

I sat up immediately.

"What's wrong?!" I asked frantically.

He then turned quickly and "captured" something with his hands against the wall behind the bed in which we were sleeping.

At this point, thinking it was an animal or an enormous bug, I jumped out of bed and yelped, "What is it??"

He grabbed whatever it was around the neck and threw it on the bed and yelled, "Diamonds are forever!!!!"

It was then that I realized what he had captured was the floral arch arrangement that had adorned the wall above the bed. It was now scattered in pieces all over the bedspread.

A certain amount of rage washed over me because A) he could have awakened my children, who were asleep in the room with us and B) he had jolted me out of a sound sleep all over a floral arrangement.

"Are you asleep??!!!" I hissed.

"No. I'm wide awake," he insisted as he rolled over and got readjusted in the bed.

"Oh, you'd better be asleep or I'm going to kill you!" I threatened. And then I checked on the girls to make sure they hadn't been disturbed and went back to bed.

When a hour acceptable for waking up finally arrived, he began to stir. He saw the fake flowers spread all over the bed and said, "What happened?!"

I explained with great disgust what had occurred earlier.

"What do you think I meant by 'Diamonds are forever'?"he wondered.

I told him that it was a wonder he was still alive.


Don Champion said...

Please don't ever link to the FaHoLo website again. I think that site brought your blog down a notch! It's horrible!!!

Mary Beth said...

Ok... is your hubby a James Bond fan? Diamonds are Forever is a Bond movie.

Maybe he was dreaming he was 007, fighting the bad, diamond burglar ... who was flirting with his woman.