11 March 2009

I woke up in a Soho doorway...a policeman knew my name...

He said, "You can go sleep at home tonight
If you can get up and walk away."
I staggered back tot he underground
And the breeze blew back my hair
I remember throwin' punches around
And preachin' from my chair
Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who)

No, really. Seriously. Who are you?

Clearly, you aren't Roger Daltrey or Pete Townsend. Are you someone's mom? Someone's wife? Daughter? An employee of ABC, Inc.? All of the above? None of the above?

Throughout my life, there have been times when I felt deluged in the identities of others. The youth pastor's wife and now the pastor's wife. Business Analyst for an Automotive Supplier. Kayla and Karis's mom-the mere method by which my parents and in-laws obtained two glorious granddaughters.

This feeling isn't uncommon especially in The Church. As members of the Body of Christ, our lives are so interconnected with the lives of others - as they should be- that we can easily forget what makes us unique. Take a look in Romans 12:4-6 or 1st Corinthians 12. But with that said, notice that Romans 12:6 says "we have different gifts, according to the grace given us..."

So, I'm going to take some time to focus on "you." What makes you "YOU"? How can YOU grow?

Answer the following questions regarding YOU (either to yourself, in an e-mail to me, or the comment section if you want to go public):

1. If I could spend an entire day doing anything I wanted, what would it be?
2. What are my talents? What am I good at naturally?
3. What are my dreams and long term goals and visions?
4. What topics, tasks, ideas stir up excitement and initiative in me?
5. What is my calling in life?
6. How can I pursue my purpose/calling at this stage of my life?
7. How can the the current stage of my life enhance my growth in fulfilling my purpose/calling?

Now here's my moment of honesty (that's me at the moment of honesty - see all the serious, honesty wrinkles and eyebrow contortions? That's some serious honesty):

After I answered those questions, I realized that I don't want you to know the answers because I hide. I hide behind my fear of failing, looking stupid or being rejected if I reach for my dreams. That I won't be accepted if I let my dormant self emerge. And I can't get pass the feeling that I am what I DO...that I should have some title, some proof that I'm accomplishing something "valuable."

Isn't that ugly?

At first I thought it was. Then I got down to the raw realization that I know that God made me who I am and He accepts me. So I accept His acceptance of me. And I'll continue to grow into what He's called me to.

Now go listen to The Who. You know you want to. Or just watch the opening credits CSI.

Up next: More about YOU!

1 comment:

Mary Beth said...

First of all let me reiterate... your writing and insight amaze me.

Second... you know me... no inhibitions about going public LOL

1. Have some FUN hangtime with my family in a warm tropical place.
2. Uh... thinking...I guess I would say discipling new believers and assimiliating them into the body of Christ. Helping.
3. encouraging women to love who they are and who God created them to be. LONG LONG TERM...Spending Retirement in a warm sunny place with my man... reaching all those retirees for Jesus.
4. Sharing Jesus with those who need him. AND the needs of women,(moms, wives, ministry wives.)
5. To share Jesus with those who don't know. To be a ministry wife. To encourage others in ministry to LOVE IT like I do.
6. Education. Constructive Critique. Get a life coach.
7. I can sure relate to those who are unhappy with where they are in life... vocationally, sprirtually, and emotionally... Have a great retirement plan.

JAIME JAIME... you are making me think so hard! It is good for me. Keep challenging this 40 something.