27 January 2010

Brain Stew

So, I'm convinced that I am becoming dumber and dumber as the years go by. My brain used to be like those sticky strips of paper that hung from my Grandma's garage ceiling and information was like the flies that would stick to the strips.

When Aaron and I first got married we'd compete at Jeopardy! every weeknight. And I would nail his sorry rump to the wall! I only lost one time in the entire first year we were married and that was only because there was an entire category called Shaq Attack and at the time, I didn't know much about Shaquille O'Neal.

Recently we started competing again. He has won twice. We've tied twice. And I've won only once by a very narrow margin - and only because it was an episode of....ahem...Celebrity Jeopardy! (I can't believe I'm being this self-disclosing.)

And today, I did it again. On Facebook, for the whole world to see today, I attributed the lyrics of Creep by Stone Temple Pilots to Nirvana. Who does that?

What is wrong with me? Am I not exercising the gray matter enough? I keep up on news and politics. I read a lot - and not just Good Night Moon or its equivalent. I try to write with semi-frequency.

I guess its time to sharpen my pencil and pull out the old crossword puzzles and sudoku books.

Or maybe take a quantum physics class.

Or maybe apply to be on Celebrity Jeopardy!:

Alex Trebek: ...Let's skip "Therapists" and try "Household Objects", for $400. And the answer is, "You usually drink water out of one of these." [ Sean Connery buzzes in ] Sean Connery.

Sean Connery: A leather glove!

Alex Trebek: No. [ Minnie Driver buzzes in ] Minnie Driver.

Minnie Driver: A toilet!

Alex Trebek: That is awful. [ Jeff Goldblum buzzes in ] Jeff Goldblum.

Jeff Goldblum: [ marvels at the buzzer until time runs out ]

Alex Trebek: And you're an idiot! The answer was "a glass."

Sean Connery: Then the day is mine!

Alex Trebek: [ hesitant ] Technically, it's still Mr. Goldblum's board, but since he's a human wasteland, I'll let Mr. Connery pick again.

No comments: