Dear City of Warren,
Your online registration for parks and rec events is extremely frustrating.
I do things online so I don't have to have actual human interaction. I do not want to call your office to "add a household member to my account."
That's why the internet exists - to avoid actually talking to someone. Therefore, I am able to avoid having parks and rec staffers insist that I spelled my last name incorrectly and even after having a 5 minute conversation about how "Yes, H-L...there's no A between the H and the L. No- V. As in Vermin. Not B. V. As in Victor. Or Vermin. Or Vermouth...Yes. It's Bohemian. Yes, old Czechoslovakia. What part? I don't know, I married into the family..."
And then still having it show up wrong on the account.
Or better yet, her thinking that my youngest daughter's name is "Carrots."
You have no idea how often this happens, City of Warren. Don't take it personally. Its just been 11 long years of being married to a man with a weird last name and then making poor choices in naming my own children.
"J-A-I-M-E. Yes...that's correct...no, no...Not J-A-M-I-E....That's right A-I-M...yes. Think of it this way - 'Aim between the J and the E'."
Mother of Carrots Hlavin