Autumn seems to trigger my "grief reflex." The beginning of the school year, Halloween, Karis's birthday, Thanksgiving (then eventually Christmas) offer the potential of new memories and photos opportunities that will once again remind me of the gaping hole in my life.
January 2011 will mark two years since she's been gone. The tears come less frequently now and conversations about her are less sorrowful. But not a day goes by that I don't think about her, miss her and wish she was still a part of our lives.
Its times like these that I am thankful for my sense of humor and the ability Aaron and I have to laugh at what others may consider awkward and inappropriate. Karis found an old picture of her and dad and insists on placing it on the living room coffee table whenever my dad comes over for a visit. Karis doesn't remember her because she was just over a year old when she died (although she insists that she does remember her and this insistence makes her sister indignant). And the fact that my dad has a girlfriend now makes the recurring appearance of this picture more uncomfortable and therefore more amusing to us.
I laugh and cry in the same breath.