21 February 2011

The vaporous nature of life...

I'm sorry to go AWOL for a few weeks and then hit you with this when I come back. But my heart is heavy. Within the past days, I've either crossed paths with or become entwined in the lives of individuals who have dealt with:

1. serious car accidents
2. dangerous complications in pregnancies
3. the suicides of two different teenagers on two different occasions
4. the loss of a newborn baby just hours into his life and after a very complicated, high risk pregnancy

I'm no stranger to the frailty of life. I'm a pastor's wife - the nature of what we do involves the privilege and honor of being invited into the most emotional, intimate and often heart wrenching moments of peoples' lives to offer support and care. I am also one who spent the last hours of her mother's life bedside and was present for the moment she took her last breath. But sometimes, I forget. This weekend I have been reminded.

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
James 4:13-15

You're currently reading the musings of the worst offender when it comes to saying "today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business...blah blah blah." I'm the quintessential planner-type personality. I don't have fun - I plan spontaneity. I have more lists than I know what to do with. If you call me on Monday and want to have dinner with me on Friday, I will be annoyed because I've already planned to make meatloaf for dinner that night.

You probably think I'm kidding. I'm not.

But right now, in light of those events - both serious and tragic - and the EACH efforts our church is partnering in, I am feeling a renewed sense of purpose and intentionality. I am praying that God would open my eyes and make me ready to help and encourage those who need it.

Will I stop planning out every second of my day? Probably not. :) I'll just be less inclined to be annoyed and do my best to consider it a divine privilege when I'm compelled to stop and be a part of what God has for me that day. And I trust that there will be a time in my life when annoyance isn't part of the myriad of emotions I experience when I'm urged to stop and act.

Well, gotta run. Writing this is encroaching on the time slot I have allotted for showering. Just kidding. Or am I?

1 comment:

Work in progress said...

OH MY GOSH, can I relate!!! I totally get the planning spontaneity. (And just about everything else you said... HA!) Although, Caedryn has gone a long way toward stretching me in that area! :)

I found that verse rough. (Even though I often quote the life is a vapor sentiment.) It is always a cringe worthy moment to be on the side of the verse that is "God's caution" rather than "God's promise." So often my grief is tied to the fact that I have (in my opinion) fabulous plans that don't seem to find a return. I really struggle to trust God in this area. But He is certainly persistent about illuminating and healing... :O!

I am both happy and sorry to find another like me that has endless head lists. Chad always remarks (lovingly, of course!) about my endless lists. To which I reply, "Imagine how it feels to be me, the one WITH the lists?!"

I am sorry to hear about the pain that started your post. My prayers are with you and the families involved. I can't imagine the heartache.