The life I never dreamed of...

Simple Monday posts help motivate me...

2012-01-23T09:44:00.010-05:00

Outside my window...melting snow and warmer temperatures which mean potential progress.

I am thinking...about how annoyed I get the first few days after a haircut that entails "face framing layers" because the shortest layer above my left eyebrow is never long enough to tuck behind my ear. I don't like not being able to get my hair off my face.

I am thankful for...LATE START MONDAYS.

From the kitchen...not a whole lot. I am letting a few bananas over-ripen so I can make bread one of these days.

I am wearing...pajamas. Yes, still. And, yes, I took Kayla to school in them. And yes, even on Late Start Monday I couldn't manage to get dressed before leaving the house. Don't judge me.

I am creating...a potentially moneymaking idea.

I am going...nowhere today.

I am reading...nothing right now. I have a few on books on my "to read" shelf, but I just haven't started them yet.

I am hoping...for days above 32 degrees so more "progress" can be made.

I am hearing...the washing machine. Woo hoo! Clean underwear. Finally. I'm kidding. That never gets old. Or maybe it does for you. Not for me.

Around the house...Toy Story toys, Disney Junior on the TV, my various folders of stuff I'm working on.

One of my favorite things...This mug. Whoa! I've never taken a picture of something in PhotoBooth with wording. Its backward! LOL!

A few plans for the rest of the week: laundry, various administrative tasks (women's ministry stuff), Bible Study tomorrow, Life Group Wednesday, swimming lessons Thursday, Winter Blast this weekend and 24 Hour Prayer Flood on Saturday.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:
This is my nephew Dylan. He and his brother, Carson, were staying with us the day their youngest brother, Levi, was born. I said to him, "Do something silly." And this is what I got. (By the way, we refer to this bedroom as "the room pink threw up in." It's Kayla's).

Testing...1...2...3....Is this thing on?

2012-01-06T09:29:00.008-05:00

This movie quote made me laugh - not that there was anything funny about the movie as a whole...just this quote: "Blogging isn't writing. It's graffiti with punctuation."

So here I am again, tagging the internet.

It's been a while, so here's a holiday summary for you in case you were waiting anxiously on the edge of your seat:
Whirlwind of insanity, family and fun

It is good to be back in a normal routine again, even if that normal routine includes a daily jaunt on the treadmill. I want to know when this boost of energy one is suppose to get from exercising kicks in. This has never been the case for me. Ever. It just makes me more tired - if that's even possible since I am convinced that I am the most perpetually tired person in the world.

In 2012, I resolve to participate in internet graffiti twice a week, providing that I have something "worth" writing about. We'll see how that goes.

In the meantime, I have to go run on my ~~hamster wheel~~ treadmill. Hopefully, Ray LaMontagne will make the time go by fast,

I'm going to brag a little...

2011-11-28T13:51:00.032-05:00

Last Black Friday, my husband was a rock star and braved Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Store where he got a screamin' deal on the Cricut Expression. Best. Christmas. Gift. Ever.

Aside from taking my scrapbookin' to a new level, it has enabled me to create really neat things. And I'm kind of proud these two in particular:

Earlier this month, I made a banner for Karis's 4th Birthday Shindig and I was really delighted with how it turned out.

My loved ones will be less than thrilled with me for posting this photo of gluttony. But it was a really great shot of the banner.

I used Accent Essentials and the Mickey Font on colored card stock and Hello Kitty paper. I attached the circles to the string with really cute silver flower brads.

A few days ago, I made this Advent Calendar. The girls are really excited about it...so am I.

Each numbered tube leading up to Christmas has a tissue paper-wrapped surprise inside. A handful of the surprises are candy or fun Christmas activities including craft ideas, a Christmas movie night, a drive through the neighborhood to look at lights, cookie baking, etc.

But the rest of the activities are more benevolent in an effort to teach my kids to be less self-consumed. These include making a Christmas card for the little girl in Uganda that we sponsor, making presents for teachers at church, sorting through hats and scarves to donate to a charity, shopping for the Trees of Hope at our church, etc.

For this I used the Christmas Village and Jasmine Font as well as assorted papers from a few different Christmas Stacks I've accumulated over the years. Inside the paper tubes, the activities are written on little scrolls of vellum sealed shut with Christmas stickers.

A Fairy Tale...of Sorts

2011-11-17T09:07:00.006-05:00

When the temperature dips below 40 degrees, as it did at 8:30 this morning, our garage door stops working properly. Why? Because I am unfit to have a driver's license.

This confession will set feminist ideals back decades as I'm about to grossly contribute much ammunition to the arsenal of those who complain about "women drivers." Please forgive me ahead of time.

Once upon a time, a beautiful twentysomething woman was gainfully employed as a Business Analyst for a company that paid her real, actual money! This company did not require her to change diapers, wake up at ungodly hours of the night to attend to small human life forms, clean up vomit, engage in conversations about imaginary friends, volunteer at elementary school functions, or clean the crust off of infected pierced ears. Plus, the company had an awesome coffee maker with more varieties of K-cups than you could ever imagine!!! It was a sweet gig.

The only downfall of this gig came in the form of a mandatory start time of 8 a.m. in a locale that was nearly 40 minutes away from the the lovely twentysomething's home. She was, and is, in fact, not a morning person.

On the fateful morning of "the incident," the twentysomething groggily entered her vehicle - which was parked in the garage - convinced that she had used the keypad on the wall to open the garage door. She had, in fact, not, and proceeded to back her car into the garage door with a phenomenal crash.

The woman and her husband had words.

The woman's husband and her father banged the dents out of the door with rubber mallets several days later and managed to salvage it.

But that wasn't the end of the story.

The same thing happened several months later. Yes. You read that correctly. It happened a second time. This time, no words were exchanged. Her husband demanded that she leave for work and not contact him for several hours while he calmed down.

Miraculously, the door was salvaged again. And now, whenever the temperature cools to near freezing, the door stops working properly and requires a little extra assistance as it slowly groans its way up the track.

The End

Brown paper packages tied up with strings...

2011-11-14T02:14:00.002-05:00

It's that time of the season again. The easy listening/adult contemporary radio stations are playing all of the most annoying Holiday tunes in a constant loop (ahem...The Hippopotamus Song.) The mass commercialization of one of the most sacred times of year has begun in all the megastores. And I'm writing my annual blog post of My Favorite Things of 2011!

This year I'm very excited because this post coincides with a really cool event that Engage Women's Ministry is hosting on November 19. We're calling it My Favorite Things. It's a night of coffee, dessert and a terrific gift exchange. We're encouraging any woman who participates in the gift exchange to bring a present that "she would love to receive" - a duplicate copy of one her favorite things!

Alright. Here we go:

This year, I cultivated a relationship with a Bath & Body Works scent called Twilight Woods. The marketing geniuses of B&BW claim that "apricot nectar, mimosa petals and Tuscan cypress combine to create this hypnotic fragrance inspired by a romantic walk in enchanted woods." I don't know about all of that, but it sure smells good - so much so that I really wish your iPhone had a scratch 'n sniff app right now. And as I've mentioned to my sister-in-law, I'm pretty sure that this is what Edward Cullen smells like (I'm kidding...don't get all hysterical on me, now).

I may be a little late to the party on this one, but I was given a Keurig coffee maker as a gift this year! I've always been enthralled with the concept of these machines. My first introduction into the world of Keurig happened in 2001 when I was employed with a company called AutoWeb Communications, Inc. (which has since changed its name). I'm pretty sure I heard an angelic choir as I entered the break room for the first time and laid eyes on the technological miracle of "one-cup brewing." And the K-Cup options where more than I could've ever imagined. I would stand at the cupboard in the break room for endless minutes and read descriptions on the boxes of K-Cups ("...this coffee is a bright and aromatically nutty blend of sweet and savory...") and silently wish that I could be employed as a "K-Cup Coffee Description Writer." Ever since, I have privately longed for a Keurig of my own. And in 2011, that dream came true. My favorite K-Cup is Gloria Jean's Hazelnut.

In August of 2011, I was violently hurled into my mid-thirties. And now more than ever, I truly appreciate a good under eye concealer. Thank you Garnier for this little miracle. 'Nuff said.

Last Christmas I was given a Jilbere flat iron embedded with Swarovski crystals. I had for years been using cheap flat irons - and it showed. In 2011, my hair has been so straight and smooth that strangers are astonished when they hear that my oldest daughter's curly locks were my donation to the gene pool. I don't think the Swarovski crystals have much to do with that, but they sure do look cool. To add to frizzlessness of my newly straightened mane, I occasionally use this stuff on it, too. Apparently, jojoba infused follicles are a plus when it comes to straight hair.

This year I jumped on the Greek-Yogurt-Bandwagon. Or more realistically, I should say that I was guiltriddenly dragged kicking and screaming onto the Greek-Yogurt-Bandwagon. After much gag-reflex-inducing trial and error, I discover Chobani. It doesn't taste like bile and is, in fact, quite pleasant. Even the Plain - which I add a little honey and granola to for good measure. I know that wasn't much of a glowing endorsement. Oh well. But it really is one of my favorite things now!

I spent nearly $6 on this - which is way more than I like to spend on nail color. But it was actually worth it. The effect was great (if time and care is taken to apply correctly) and my kids love it!

And there you have it! At least this year I didn't include precooked bacon.

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas! And I hope to see you at the "My Favorite Things" Engage Holiday Event this coming Saturday!!!!

Now that wasn't so bad, now was it...

2011-11-11T09:41:00.006-05:00

I took Karis to her 4 year "well check-up" on Thursday.

The exam part went VERY well. And for that, we took a trip to fiVe BeLow and got ourselves a nifty Buzz Lightyear Space Shooter Target game for only $5.

However, there's the part where the nurse came back in to administer the immunizations after the doctor left. Let's just say that an extra nurse was required to pin down the lower half of her body while I restrained her flailing torso. The angry shrieking that occurred was so awful that all I could do was giggle nervously until it was over. At that point in time, Boo Boo collapsed into my arms and declared, "You're mean! I'm so mad at you!"

And I was okay with that. She felt utterly betrayed. I get it. She remained mad at me for nearly two hours before she finally forgave me. "Mommy...I'm not mad at you any more. I love you again."

But she did great in the hours there after. Barely any soreness. No fever. And she seems to be fairly unscathed psychologically.

Until next time, I've dodged The Worst Mother of the Year Award.

Two kids and a house in the 'burbs...

2011-11-03T09:50:00.010-04:00

Dear Karis,

Four years ago today, we brought you home from the hospital. You came into the world via a very uneventful, routine C-section resulting in an amazingly simple recovery for your mother - which now looking back, I think that was my preemptive reward for some of the battles we would later endure. It was a brisk fall day and I wore my Wayne State University hoodie - yep, the one I still wear on brisk fall days. (Apparently, it's time to update my wardrobe.)

You, Daddy and I stopped for lunch at Qdoba before heading over to Grandma and Grandpa's to pick up your sister.

At first, we struggled to find a routine with you because you have always wanted to do things on your own terms. It will be interesting and exciting to watch how this trait plays out in your life - you march to the beat of your own drum, that's for sure.

We have a phrase about you: "Karis is the happiest child in the world. Until she's not." When you are happy, everyone in your life is happy as well. I knew there was something special about the level of intensity in which you express joy from that first month of your life. You smiled and laughed much earlier than most babies. And still, you continue to smile and laugh more than most. Everyone who meets you instantly falls in love with you.

On the morning of your birthday this year, the absolute joy and delight you expressed over "being four" was quite a sight to behold. You are totally convinced that you actually look different.

Conversely, when you're not happy...well, that's a whole other story. This year alone I've had to reschedule more professional portrait appointments, haircuts and doctors visits than I care to recall because of meltdowns. This has been a year of learning to express your emotions in words rather than tantrums. And it's been exhausting at times.

But when I look at you, I can't help but think that you are going to experience and feel life in a way that few people ever do. Your excitement over the simplest things consumes your entire body and infects everyone who witnesses it. Your eyes sparkle as they devour the world around you. And your laugh - I've attempted to write three different sentences describing your laugh but each time fell so short of fully capturing it. Its something that must be experienced.

I remember having this deep sense of contentment and joy during those first weeks of your life - I'd sit on the couch with you cuddled on my chest as your sister played contently on the living room floor with her dolls. A feeling of totality. Completion.

People often ask us if we plan to have more children. The answer is a resounding "no." And not for any other reason than our family is whole. We have an ideal mix of personalities and temperaments that brings a sense of synergy. And we are happy and content with this sense of the "whole being greater than the sum of its parts."

And while I'm pilfering a line from my least favorite actor in his most annoying role, I must say that it really encapsulates how we feel about you: "You complete me (us)."

Happy Birthday, Karis. We love you.

Love,
Mommy

Not me...

2011-10-20T11:16:00.005-04:00

Nope. I didn't have a conversation with a woman at the library yesterday about a Pacman frog, and totally act like I was completely on board with what she was saying all the while having no idea what she was talking about.

I am so relieved that she didn't see through it and later I laughed about the absurdity of it all while I Googled it. But it made me wonder how often I actually do that to avoid looking stupid or to circumvent a long conversation that I just don't have time/want to have.

Lessons reiterated: humility and people matter more than my "schedule."

I love when God uses silly little things to get my attention or in this case, a hideous and apparently carnivorous (yikes!) amphibian.

This show was filmed before a live studio audience...

2011-10-01T21:30:00.005-04:00

Yeah...I'd say that it's absolutely ridiculous that I haven't written in over a month. Apparently the back-to-school adjustment was a little harder than I realized.

And after all of that, the only thing I want to talk about is how much I hate "laugh tracks." I didn't realize how much I hated this production tool until last week while watching the pilot episode of a new sitcom. I turned it off 5 minutes into the show because the laugh track was grating on my nerves that badly.

I guess find it insulting that sitcom makers think I'm too stupid to know when to laugh. So since I'm too stupid to make my own comedy choices, a recording of a bunch people yuckin' it up is inserted at points in the dialogue deemed humorous. And half the time, what was just said wasn't funny at all. (Or maybe I just have a really odd sense of humor.)

That's why I appreciate comedy that allows me to choose when I laugh and when I do not. A big gold star should be given to whoever decided to go away from the "laugh track."

Seeing little pieces of us in them....

2011-08-31T12:48:00.006-04:00

Once in a great while, parenthood boosts our egos. (But for the most part, parenthood is an exercise in constant prayer, "Oh, Lord, please don't let me mess this up too badly." But that isn't what this post is about).

Other than the glaringly obvious physical traits, I am at times delighted by certain aspects of our children's personalities that mirror ours:

KAYLA: Hey guys, did you know that Flynn Rider's real name is Eugene Fitzherbert?"

JAIME: (smiling proudly because I, too, have a knack for remembering obscure characters, names and bits of trivia from TV and movies) That's my girl!

KARIS: Yeah!! His name is Blue Jean Fitzper!

AARON: (smiling proudly because he, too, has a knack for never remembering ANY obscure characters, names and bits of trivia from TV or movies - and therefore SLAUGHTERING said characters, names and bits of trivia) And that's my girl.

A simple disaster....

2011-08-29T10:10:00.008-04:00

Outside my window...sunniness.

I am thinking...that I always seem to have trouble with the Warren Parks & Rec Department website. Maybe I should just over come my social anxiety and call these people to enroll my kids instead of using the website.

I am thankful for...Frank Sinatra as the "on hold" music.

From the kitchen...coffee

I am wearing...an old FAF T-shirt and hideous fleece pants. Just staying consistent in horrifying my readership.

I am creating...ORGANIZATION. Each week I'm tackling a project in my house that is in dire need of reorg.

I am going...hopefully to Meijer some time today. Sheesh.

I am reading...nothing at the moment. I'm taking a break.

I am hoping...to eventually get off the phone and get out of this house!

I am hearing...the rumblings of discontentment from above - I think the kids are ready for me to get off the phone and out of this house as well.

Around the house...(see above)

One of my favorite things...a really cool pink pen I found recently.

A few plans for the rest of the week: getting the kids registered for various extracurricular activities, prep for Lioness Arising, Staff Work Away...

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:

Toothlessness...

Simple minds...simple pleasures...

2011-08-15T09:33:00.006-04:00

Outside my window...was a beautiful, sunny day. But I was too unconscious to enjoy it as I had to haul everyone out of bed at the crack of dawn to follow Aaron to drop his car off at the dealership to get some aesthetic, warranty work done on his car. In my pajamas.

I am thinking...about how unmotivated I am to get back into the swing of real life after a week in Lexington at my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's cottage.

I am thankful for...that I didn't get pulled over or in an accident this morning, because I'm pretty sure I forgot to brush my teeth.

From the kitchen...emptiness. I really need to get to the grocery store.

I am wearing...plaid flannel pajama pants and an old T-shirt with the word Freedom superimposed over the number 76 on it. (My mom bought it for me years ago. She thought it was cool to buy me stuff that "corresponded to my life." Freedom is the church we pastor and '76 is the year of my birth. My mom was kind of weird like that.)

I am creating...I'm done creating for a while.

I am going...to Meijer, if I can ever drag myself into the shower.

I am reading...ughh...this has been a problem. I started one book a few weeks ago and it was really good. But I had to stop reading it because it got gross. I hate when that happens. So I started a different one, and it's just really stupid, even by my very low "sci-fi standards." I'm so disappointed. And I'm pleading the fifth on the titles of these books.

I am hoping...to find a better book. Oh, and to get a lot done this week in the way of planning, promoting, launching Freedom's Fall women's Bible study.

I am hearing...Phineas & Ferb.

Around the house...are people in their pajamas.

One of my favorite things...MY KEURIG COFFEE MAKER!!! A wonderful, beautiful person from church gave it to me!!!

A few plans for the rest of the week: Oh you know...the stuff-of-life that everyone has going on.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:

This just makes me laugh...

Picture Perfect?

2011-08-01T13:45:00.005-04:00

I am very thankful for the internet. I love the convenience of searching for and finding all of the information that I could possibly need as quickly as my 70- wpm fingers can take me.

At the same time, internet use can tend to make me feel slightly crazy and insecure. Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and all the many, many blogs I read bombard me with words that portray perfectly organized lives, ideal marriages, immaculate homes, healthy organic meals, adorable children, endlessly patient parenting, deep and rich prayer/devotional lives, burgeoning and healthy ministry growth...and the list could go on and on and on...

I am often tempted to compare my own life to the lives portrayed in the carefully crafted words I read on the screen of my aging iMac. And I often succumb to that temptation and become enveloped in an abyss of self-pity and jealousy.

As I read the words I just typed, I grimace at their ugliness.

I cannot think of two more insidious, destructive and consumptive emotions. They chip away at the confidence I've been given by God. They erode the stability of healthy relationships. They bore into the brain like a parasite and deplete energy, life and joy.

That is not the life God has designed for me. Even if the ideal lives crafted for the world wide web to view were 100% accurate (but seriously, most people put their best face forward when posting pictures, writing statuses and blogging...I mean, does anyone really want to know that my deodorant gives out around 3 p.m.???), so what?

My life is mine. Your life is yours. Behind the pretty pictures, the perfect children, awesome husbands, and clean houses that we click through on a daily basis are struggles, sorrow, pain, financial difficulty, career instability, learning disabilities, marital issues, and ginormous dust bunnies that no one else knows about.

I have been given a precious gift and it is my job, my God-given responsibility, to use time wisely, appreciate resources allotted to me and love unconditionally the people that He has placed in my life.

No more jealousy and self-pity. And no cynicism and mistrust either. I don't read blog entries written by women touting their extreme money saving tactics and homemade organic cleaning supplies with a smirk on my face and think, "Sure lady, you drop $100 on every Target trip just like the rest of us and probably clean your tub with Lime-O-Sol, too."

Instead, I try to thank God for blessing her with creativity and frugality. Then I thank Him for my blessings and evaluate how I might take one or two of her ideas and incorporate them into my own life.

Have I arrived? No. The temptation is there all the time. It's a daily battle. But I've noticed that an amazing thing happens when I'm not feeling sorry for myself or focusing on what I don't have, or how much I used to weigh. I think more about others. I am more generous. I am more thoughtful. I am more Christlike.

As I wind this down, in an effort to "keep it real" I considered posting a really hideous picture of myself. But the beauty of a digital camera (mine is over 5 years old and has seen better days) is that one can delete all unsavory photos of oneself and therefore perpetuate the perfect online persona. Ah...well...nobody's perfect.

Something is better than nothing...

2011-07-25T13:01:00.008-04:00

Yes. Thank you for realizing how profound the title of this post is.

I am thinking...that I would feel much better if I took something for this sinus pressure. But my track record shows that if I do, I will inevitably end up with a sinus infection within several days. I don't know why. It just happens.

I am thankful for...sprinklers

From the kitchen...the sound of the dishwasher.

I am wearing...yep, you guessed it - a gray T-shirt and gray shorts! Woo hoo! I'm the life of the fashion party! Somebody bring me the lampshade!

I am creating...stuff for a baby shower!! Really cute favors.

I am going...maybe to Bath and Body Works to pick up some stuff for prizes for the shower - if my head doesn't explode before then.

I am reading...a real life murder mystery that my mother-in-law loaned me. It goes along the lines of that whole "looking-forward-to-watching-Dateline" thing that we're doing here in my home these days.

I am hoping...to get lots of stuff accomplished this week, including preparing for Life Group Wednesday night!

I am hearing...the washer and dryer. Another Monday. Another day of clean underwear. (Three of my Simple Monday items have to do with water usage. Uh-oh. I need to hide the water bill when it arrives. I'm kidding. I don't hide bills from my husband).

Around the house...is utter silence. Which, as I've mentioned before, frightens me to the core of my being.

One of my favorite things...calling Aaron "Boehner" (pronounced BAY-ner) when he gets emotional.

A few plans for the rest of the week...Everybody's busy and nobody really cares. So I won't bore you with the mundane details of my iCal.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing:

My 1988 edition of Webster's II New Riverside University Dictionary with my name engraved on it. Don't be jealous, haters.

Geesh...

2011-07-14T09:32:00.002-04:00

I am a blogging failure.

Honestly, I have a lot in my head...but I just can't seem to sit down and write.

Soon.

Four Things I Learned While on Vacation in South Carolina...

2011-06-28T14:56:00.011-04:00

1. Bathing suit choices need to be made wisely.
2. I am the only person over the age of 18 that does not have a tattoo. *
3. Detroit drivers are insane.**
4. Aaron and I scare people. ***

* EVERYONE seems to have one. And most of them are really cheesy and cliche - hearts, butterflies, barbed wire, tribal designs, celtic crosses, etc. IF I were to ever get a tattoo, I think it would be either Kermit the Frog or an alien face. Not cheesy or cliche at all. LOL! Oh, and by the way, the biggest mistake of the early nineties is the Taz tattoo.

No, those are not real. They are airbrushed temporary tattoos. And notice the cheesy cliches my children chose. Sigh.

** South Carolinians and tourists are slow, laid back drivers. Detroiters are not. On the way home from the airport, I nearly had an anxiety attack. But part of that is another story and blog entry altogether - and doesn't necessarily have as much to do with crazy driving as it does construction detours and motion sickness. Curious?

*** Every time Aaron or I would attempt to engage a native Southerner in conversation, said native would look at us like we were from another planet and then quickly end the conversation. And that always happened way before telling them from where we hailed. It was really weird. Maybe it was the funny way we talked. :)

My brain has officially stopped functioning creatively...

2011-06-13T14:27:00.007-04:00

So, please accept my apologies. We have a big, fat vacation coming up here in a little bit, so maybe some R&R will rejuvenate my creativity. With that said, enjoy:

Outside my window...an absolutely GORGEOUS day. We (Karis and I) just spent the past several hours at a birthday party for one of Karis's friends. Sprinkler and play structure heaven.

I am thinking...that due to the awesomeness of said party, nap time is going to overlap into picking-up-Kayla-time...so we may be in for a bit of a rude awakening for young Karis Layne.

I am thankful for...my wonderful, encouraging husband who gave me the nicest set of the most sincere compliments I've ever received yesterday.

From the kitchen...birthday party clutter - goodie bag, balloon, squirt gun, beach towel, sunscreen.

I am wearing...grey shorts and a white T-shirt. I really don't deviate from this trend very much, do I?

I am creating...a master scheme for the rest of the week. (insert evil genius laugh here > )

I am going...to pick Kayla up from school, bring home one of her friends from school for some girl hangout time, heat up some leftovers for me and the kids (Aaron has credential interviews and presbyter meetings all day and into the evening - potentially late into the night, so dinner will be boring. Who am I kidding? Dinner is always boring...), play outside, eat a freezer pop, finish up some laundry and MAKE SOME LISTS! Woohoo!

I am reading...the same stinkin' W autobiography I've been picking away at for months.

I am hoping...that by some miracle I finish this stinkin' W autobiography.

I am hearing...the washer and dryer. Yay! Clean underwear for my family again!

Around the house...laundry needs to be folded and put away. Seriously. Three of these categories have had to do with laundry. When was the last time I did laundry? This really shouldn't consume so much of my life...

One of my favorite things...Dannon Greek yogurt. Plain. Mixed with honey and granola. Yeah. I know, right? I hated it a few months ago. But I've discovered a way to love it!

A few plans for the rest of the week: Eh...no one cares about my schedule. I'm busy. You're busy. We're all busy. And we're all sick and tired of hearing how busy we all are. So let's just all deal. Spoken with the love the Lord, of course. ;)

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:

Aaron took this picture while were out to dinner at Olive Garden one time. We call it "One Angry Meatball." And yes, we really do call it that. I'm not just making that up for writer's effect.

Attempting to keep it simple today....

2011-06-06T11:45:00.005-04:00

A lot going on this week so this may be all ya get!

Outside my window...SUN! And NO RAIN! Even though I got my car washed yesterday...I thought for sure that would doom us all.

I am thinking...that I am so glad I got up early to spend time with Jesus.

I am thankful for...the school year winding down.

From the kitchen...freshly, cut fruit...the smell of brownies...dough for the Haman's Ears chillin' in the fridge...Yep, that's all for you Bible Study ladies!

I am wearing...a grey T-shirt and shorts.

I am creating...a huge mess in my house in an effort to organize and plan the things I've got going on this week.

I am going...to pick up Kayla later. Already been to Target and Meijer.

I am reading...I finally finished Outliers! I'm trying not to start The Priest's Graveyard! I'm supposed to wait until we're on vacation for that one...we'll see how that goes.

I am hoping...that my Haman's Ears turn out alright.

I am hearing...absolutely nothing and that makes me slightly nervous. Nothing good can come of a silent Karis.

Around the house...organized piles of things that need to get done.

One of my favorite things...Herr's peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets.

A few plans for the rest of the week: prepare for and attend Bible Study on Tuesday; prepare for and attend Life Group on Wednesday; clean the house; weed the yard; plan, shop for and prepare for Metro East Pastors' Wives Breakfast on Saturday and attend various Graduation Open Houses this weekend.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:

Remember that ridiculous cake I baked for Kayla's birthday? Here's a picture of it. I hope my Haman's Ears turn out better! Ha!

365 weeks ago you blew my life wide open...

2011-06-03T14:18:00.023-04:00

Dear Kayla,

Today is your 7th birthday.

For each and every day of your existence, I have been amazed by your depth of character, your sense of right-and-wrong, your academic excellence and your emotional development. You truly are everything I asked God for when I was pregnant. And I'm not just saying that for dramatic effect- I have a handwritten journal entry dated from before you were born asking God for very specific things in regards to your personality and temperament. You are exactly what I wrote on that page so many years ago - even down to a few physical aspects. Yes, I prayed that you'd have hair like this (if you're mad at me for that, so be it.):

You are easy to please and take great joy in making those that you love happy. When I think something you say or do is funny, I love that you continue down that same path over and over again just to hear the sound of my laughter. This $0.75 fake mustache provided some of my favorite moments on the night of your birthday party:

You are a precious gift to any parent. But I'm not sure I always act like I believe that. Because you've always been such a wonderful child, I think I expect too much of you and therefore I can be too hard on you. At times, I'm short-tempered and easily irritated. In your eyes and on your face I see that my words and tone of voice don't always build you up. It is my fervent prayer and deepest desire that I am always careful to steward this responsibility of motherhood by encouraging you, guiding you and loving you the way you need it.

This year, I think this letter is more about me than it is you. I have big expectations of what our relationship can grow into and it's up to me to make sure I do everything I can to develop that. I hope that someday when you look back at these letters and you read this one, you'll say, "Mom, I don't remember you acting like that at all. That's not who I've known you to be."

I love you very much. You make me a better person.

And because the last part of this was so heavy, I'll leave you with this crazy picture of you having a blast at your party:

Love,
Mommy

Here's a little song I wrote...you might want to sing it note for note...

2011-05-25T11:11:00.014-04:00

(Ha ha! Now that song is stuck in your head! Suffer along side of me.)

Hurricanes. Economic disaster. War. Job loss. Tornadoes. Cancer. Pedophiles. Tornadoes. Crime. Car accidents. Not getting into the right school.

All are very real and potentially devastating occurrences and the anxiety associated with each can suffocate and consume all sense of safety and well-being.

Worry torments and often paralyzes if not taken under control. I cannot vouch for the statistical accuracy, but I once read the following regarding the things about which we worry:

40% never happen
30% regard unchangeable deeds of the past
12% focus on the opinions of others that cannot be controlled
10% center on personal health, which only worsens as we worry about it
8% concern real problems that we can influence

Even if the stats are completely fabricated, 4 out of the 5 categories listed can be summarized as "exercises in futility." But knowing that doesn't necessarily fix those who are consumed with worry. It's trite. I hate trite.

And of course, we know what 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

So many times I dump my current list of worries and concerns and consider that "casting my anxieties" on him.

But then no sooner than I say "amen," I'm off again - calling the doctor for the 18th time that day for the results on the biopsy from that weird-looking mole...mummifying my children in bubble wrap...buying another case of bottled water for the fallout shelter...adding more gas to the generator... (I kid. We just got a book from the library called Scaredy Squirrel that lists all kinds of worst case scenarios - like germs, pirates, and martians - so I've got outlandish things on my mind.)

Why? Because I think that the more I do to prevent the worst case scenario from happening, the less likely it is to happen. Right?

Me. Me. Me. I can prevent this from happening. It's all about my control over the situation.

But go back one verse in 1 Peter 5. Right before we're instructed to cast our anxiety on Him, verse 6 says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time."

I need to humble myself (stop thinking that I'm so capable of controlling the pieces and scenarios) and realize it's all about Him - not me. And if my worst case scenario does play out, He's there to carry me through it.

Do I consider myself a worrier? Probably not. But I know that many people are.

There have been seasons where I've obsessed about the outcome of particular situations. In fact, several of my worst case scenarios have come to fruition during the course of my 34 years. And God carried me through and "lifted me up in due time."

I pray today that you'd throw all of your worries on Jesus and rest secure in the fact that that they are no longer yours to control. Be blessed and be free.

Simplicity...

2011-05-23T14:03:00.007-04:00

Outside my window...the ginormously fat robin that frequents my yard is snatching up worms after the rain.

I am thinking...about the disturbing incident that transpired earlier today (and praying for the child's safety). Karis and I were taking a stroll (her on her Big Wheel and me on foot). A beautiful little girl about 4 years old with gorgeous black curly hair and stunning blue eyes, wearing only a bathing suit, came running toward us. She asked if we were taking a walk around the block and if she could join us. I asked where she lived and she pointed to a house WAAAYYY up the block. I informed her - in a very matter-of-fact, stern voice - that it probably wasn't a good idea for her to join us because I was a stranger and little girls her age really shouldn't be talking to strangers. (Have I ever told you that I'm not a little-kid-person?) She looked at me like I was crazy and kept on chatting happily with us. When we finally reached her house, I heard a man's voice calling her name. He came out of the house, yelled at her and then sent her in the back yard. ...And the parent of the year award goes to...definitely not THAT dude. And then I had to have a stranger talk with my 3 year old.

I am thankful for... SPF 50.

From the kitchen...I don't want to talk about the kitchen because I'm obsessing over the ants I saw there last night that I'm currently in the process of baiting and killing. Thank you, Raid for making these awesome little devices.

I am wearing...shorts and a T-shirt.

I am creating...a whole lotta nothin'.

I am going...to pick Kayla up from school later. Maybe head to a park. Have dinner. Let the kids eat freezer pops.

I am reading... Outliers. And its REALLY good. But every time I look at the cover I want to yell "Outlander!" like Malachai from Children of the Corn, even though I know it says "outlier" not "outlander."

I am hoping...that the leftover coffee from this morning that I put in the refrigerator is adequately chilled for my mid-afternoon caffeine fix. Iced coffee.

I am hearing...my customized station on Pandora radio.

Around the house...tidiness that I am hoping will stay for a few hours.

One of my favorite things...the recent introduction of mid-afternoon iced coffee into my daily routine.

A few plans for the rest of the week: chaperoning the first grade zoo field trip (did I mention how much I love little kids?), a couple of meetings, Life Group, return some library books, PK Retreat...

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:

Karis is about 3 months old in this picture. This is SO Karis. She's the happiest child in the world...until she's not. That pretty much sums her up.

Wow...has it really been this long?

2011-05-16T16:39:00.002-04:00

Since the beginning of May, our lives have been a bit out of control. It hasn't been because of any one thing in particular. It's just a bunch of stuff that keeps pushing the good stuff out of the way. Everybody goes through that every now and then.

When this happens to me I lose focus.

So this week, I'm working on prioritizing my life again.

Let's see how this works! Wish me luck!

If that's the worst thing that happened...

2011-04-27T09:39:00.003-04:00

Several weeks ago, I realized that, due to media glut and nosy little ears that eavesdrop on every conversation, negative ideas about various geographic locations had begun to infiltrate my nearly-7-year-old's way of thinking. So, we had a conversation about how "bad things can happen anywhere," and not only in specific countries, states, cities, neighborhoods, etc.

He brow furrowed into a very serious expression as she said, "Now by 'bad things' you mean graffiti...right?"

Yes, my sweet, innocent, beautiful daughter. I mean graffiti. In your world, that is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen.

I love childhood.

Words...words...words...

2011-04-26T09:11:00.007-04:00

Outside my window...rain and dead/dying worms. These worms are the bane of my existence. My frilly, froofy, girly-girls tiptoe across the pavement, dodging the worms as if they were rattlesnakes or scorpions. And if one of the worms gets too close -heaven help us all. The crying and screaming that happens is simply unreal.

I am thinking...bad thoughts about worms, obviously.

I am thankful for... friends that make me laugh.

From the kitchen... Easter candy has locked its tractor beam on me. Must. Resist. Magnetic. Pull. Ugh. Resistance is futile. I will be assimilated. The line will be drawn HERE!! (I hope you read that in Jean Luc Picard's voice.)

I am wearing...fleece pants and a hoodie. Oh the visual is stunning - I know.

I am creating...horrible visuals for my readership of me in fleece pants and a hoodie. I apologize.

I am going... to take the girls to get professional portraits done this afternoon for the first time since Christmas 2009. I am an unfit mother.

I am reading...nothing right now. I promised Aaron I'd take a break from reading since a couple weeks ago I borrowed a certain saga from a friend and spent every waking moment for four straight days buried in the pages of the books. He was very lonely.

I am hoping...that my children smile nicely this afternoon. Sometimes they don't. And it makes me crazy.

I am hearing...silence. And it makes me nervous. Its never a good thing when Karis is quiet for too long.

Around the house...are a few cluttery piles of stuff. And that makes me feel claustrophobic.

One of my favorite things ... listening to Karis play by herself. The "conversations" her toys have are absolutely amazing.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Life Group, hanging out with my Dad The World Traveler, Girls' Overnighter, Henry Ford Musem.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:

I found this in my basement the other day. I call it "Ankylosaurus and Triceratops Having A Spot Of Tea."

Please excuse me while I empty the contents of my brain onto this blank page....

2011-04-19T13:38:00.012-04:00

Ugh...

My mind is so fragmented right now. I have a whole bunch of action items on my "to do" list fighting with 8,000 varying emotions.

Warning: Stream of consciousness writing ahead.

I hate having to get bloodwork done but I have to every year because my mother died from blood cancer my kids haven't had professional portraits taken since Christmas of 2009 we're all in need of dentist appointments Bible Study was terrific today Beth Moore is such a book nerd and I love it oh yeah I still need to summarize our Life Group stuff from last week and email it out and I need to reschedule that Women's Ministry meeting I wonder if she'll come on Sunday what is that weird smell I really don't want to go get that certain test that women of my age are recommended to have done oh I didn't clean up that spider carcass from yesterday's slaughter did I seriously just almost forget how to spell carcass I really should figure out how to fully use that online database tool I am so sad and angry and disappointed by what he told me earlier I don't know what I'll do when Karis stops taking naps I'm really disappointed in myself right now I thought parenting would get easier as they got older my in laws are awesome I hope my dad is having a good time overseas what is this weird pressure over my left eye I hope its not a tumor I worry about cancer a lot God is doing good things in and through our church there's just so much more to do Lord may we always be your obedient and willing vessels forgive me for self consumption I can't wait to eat Pei Wei with a friend I haven't hung out with in a while tonight I need to get together with that new friend soon help me be a better more patient mom ugh why did I read that really sad blog when I'm having such an emotional day I'm so excited for my other friend

And if you decided to skip all that because it frightened you too much, here's something lighter:

I love when people - myself included- mess up song lyrics.

Many people think that the first line of The Beach Boys Help Me Rhonda is: "Well, since she put me down, there've been owls pukin' in my bed..."

That makes me laugh. I totally picture it.

My brother makes me laugh with Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl opening up with "Hey weird amigo....days when the rains came."

When I was a kid, my dad used to play AC/DC's Dirty Deeds on the stereo turntable in our living room.

I thought they were saying "Dirty deeds in the dunder jeep."

I always envisioned a couple of guys driving around in a jeep (maybe "dunder" was a color or style or make or model? Who knew? I was only 6) doing all manner of unspeakable acts - graffiti, mugging old ladies, utilizing the concrete shoes, cyanide or TNT that they referenced at the end of the song.

I don't know.

That's all.

I guess I'll get started on my "to do" list. Now that I wasted precious minutes that you'll never get back.

Triskal, I owe you one...big time...

2011-04-14T09:15:00.018-04:00

Disclaimer: When I'm overwhelmed by a big, bad set of emotions, I attempt to make light of the situation that generated said emotions. So as you read this, please don't think I'm coldhearted and glib regarding the story that's about to unfold. I just can't let myself fully ponder the "what ifs."

I grew up hearing pleasant little stories about guardian angels and reading the Family Circus comic strip where cute little beings with wings protected the kids from falling out of trees and whatnot.

And then when I was a very young teenager, Frank Peretti wrote a few books that piqued my interest. You may remember This Present Darkness
and Piercing the Darkness.

Now those angels were totally gnarly. Yeah. I said "totally gnarly." Because they were. Totally. Gnarly.

If guardian angels existed, I wanted mine to be like Krioni. Or Scion. Or Signa. Or Triskal. Any one of those angels from the books would have been good as far as protecting me from unseen oncoming cars and such. But I never thought much more about it than that.

But if I do decide to adopt a theology of angels, it's because of the events that transpired in the early morning hours of Tuesday, April 12, 2011.

Karis is normally a very restless, "tormented" sleeper. She is notorious for crying out at night, talking in her sleep, and tossing and turning. So I've learned to tune some of it out.

On Tuesday at approximately 1 a.m., I was awakened suddenly by her voice clearly and calmly calling out to me, "MOM! MOM! MOM!" So I stumbled, semi-comatose, into her room only to find her sleeping soundly with the comforter pulled up around her chin.

Thinking everything was fine and wondering if I'd simply imagined hearing her call to me, I gave in to the uncontrollable urge to stroke her soft, chubby cheek. When I did, she stirred a little, shifting the comforter away from her neck.

Glow from the hallway nightlight revealed a shocking sight. Something was wrapped tightly around her neck.

The metallic taste of fear filled the back of my throat as I yanked the comforter back. I attempted to pull back the sheet as well. It didn't move.

Somehow, the decorative satin ribbon that was sewn into the hem of the flat sheet had come loose. (See the picture below for an example of the ribbon to which I'm referring:)

I immediately tried to slip my fingers between the ribbon and her neck to loosen it. It was so tight I could barely do so. The ribbon was also still somewhat attached to the sheet, so I simply ripped it completely off and then proceeded to unwind it from my 3 year-old's neck.

At that point she woke up a little. So I asked her some questions to see if she could speak, think, etc. She answered each one and then gave me a big hug as she mumbled, "I love you, Mommy." Then she snuggled back down into the comforter and fell asleep.

I stood above her bed, watching her breathe, for a few moments before making my way into the living room where I collapsed onto the couch. The adrenalin slowly stopped coursing through my veins.

After a while, I went back to bed and stared at the ceiling for an hour, silently and tearfully thanking Jesus for protecting my baby. (I chose not to tell Aaron at that point because I knew sleep would elude him for the rest of the night/morning.)

When she bounded out of her room at 7:30 a.m., excited to start the day, I noticed a bruise around her neck from where the ribbon was wrapped - a vivid reminder that those terrifying moments in the early morning hours had, in fact, really happened and I had not dreamed them.

As I examined the bruise on her soft, warm skin, I explained to Aaron what had happened. He simply stared in wide eyed horror as I talked. (When Aaron is overwhelmed by big, bad emotions he gets quiet.)

With tears in my eyes, I turned to Karis and attempted to make a joke, "You owe your guardian angel an apology for keeping him up so late!"

Props to Krioni. Or Scion. Or Signa. Or Triskal.

But seriously, thanks to my God...my Savior...my friend - for keeping her safe and waking me out of my normally impossible-to-rouse state of sleep. Or we could have been having a very different kind of week.

Today, I like my name...

2011-04-07T09:45:00.011-04:00

The spelling of my name has caused me much grief for as long as I can remember.

As you may or may not know, in 1976, while glancing through the TV Guide, my mother saw the spelling of the Bionic Woman's name and really liked it. I was born in August of that same year.

My name is Jaime. J-A-I-M-E.

Not J-A-M-I-E, like everyone else.

And that is where the grief comes in.

When my mother enrolled me in Kindergarten, the school secretary told her that I was going to have trouble with the spelling of my name for a long time. She was right.

In first grade, my weird teacher told me that my name was spelled the same way as the French contraction for "I love" - j'aime. Kind of cool.

In high school Spanish, I learned that my name is basically "James" in espanol. And since then, I've had many Spanish speaking people call me Jaime (pronounced "hi-may" with the deep throaty "h" sound) upon reading my name. Not so cool.

Very rarely does anyone spell it "correctly." And just when I thought I had Freedom Christian trained my way, we went and hired a staff member with the alternate spelling and thus undid all my hard work.

My closest friends and loved ones call me "Jaim." They just drop the "e" altogether. And today, I realized that it's so much easier to write "Jaim" with my particular spelling and still get the meaning across! I often try to do that with a dear friend of mine who has the same name/alternate spelling and I always delete it because it looks like I'm calling her "Jam."

How awesome is it to be Jaime today!

Here we go again...Monday...

2011-03-28T16:27:00.006-04:00

Outside my window...a big fat robin. Seriously. Big. Fat.

I am thinking...that the crabbiness is out of control today.

I am thankful for...a wonderfully relaxing, stress-free week with my family.

From the kitchen...absolutely nothing.

I am wearing...a hoodie and fleece pants - yet again.

I am creating...hot dogs and nachos for dinner. Gourmet dining at it's finest.

I am going...to bed early tonight.

I am reading... So Long, Insecurity...

I am hoping...to get stuff done this week.

I am hearing...the dryer buzzer letting me know that I have clean towels.

Around the house...my kids are watching The Electric Company. Don't you just love Manny Spamboni?

One of my favorite things...Manny Spamboni. Of course.

A few plans for the rest of the week: EACH Prayer Meeting, hanging out with Miss Brenda, lots of little "to do" items not worth listing/boring you with.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:

I have a whole bunch of these types of photos - they occur when Kayla thinks she's being sneaky and decides to use Photo Booth when I'm not looking...

But this is what happens when I am supervising, so I don't know which is worse:

EACH March 16 Devotional: Ordinary People Empowered

2011-03-16T11:11:00.008-04:00

We are beginning the 40 Day stretch leading up to the official launch of the E.A.C.H. Campaign on Easter Sunday April 24th.

(If you're a part of Freedom Christian, you can get E.A.C.H. updates via Facebook.)

33:3 is a devotional preparing people for this launch. Today's scripture is taken from the book of Acts - 1:8 and 4:13, to be exact.

The part that really speaks to me is, "for they could see that they were ordinary men who had no special training. They also recognized them as men who had been with Jesus."

My prayer today is that people would recognize me as someone who has been with Jesus - the Jesus of the Bible. Not a Jesus I've made in MY image.

1 John 4:17-19 sums it up perfectly.

If we are to be like Jesus in this world we are to love perfectly without fear. Forget, "we"! I'm making this about me! I want to love and live without fear (this ties into our Esther Bible Study from yesterday!) Free from the fear of others opinions. Free from the fear of change. Free from the fear of living outside of what is comfortable for me. Free from the fear of desiring to control every aspect of my life in an effort to manage external chaos.

Wow. Only 39 more days to get my beat into shape!

It's Monday Again...let's keep it simple...

2011-03-14T11:36:00.009-04:00

Wow. Two Simple Monday posts in a row...must mean I'm a bad blogger.

Oh, well. Sometimes such is life. Here we go:

Outside my window...sunshine!!!! Maybe??? Just maybe??? I won't get my hopes up. A weather letdown did make me cry a few weeks ago. Literally.

I am thinking...that I have a lot of laundry to do...and I need to clean my house. Luckily, the weekend's milk jug leakage gave me a jump start on the kitchen.

I am thankful for...my husband. He's such a good man. A nearly perfect husband. A wonderful father. And an amazing disciple of Christ.

From the kitchen...full fridge and pantry. I saved $60 on my groceries plus got 20 Box Tops for Education.

I am wearing...jeans and a Wayne State hoodie...yeah, I wore the same outfit to a meeting at church last night. But it was only for a few hours, so it's still clean.

I am creating...nothing! I finished the art boards!

I am going...to pick up Kayla later. But that's it. I have too much to do around the house today. (So I why am I online? Apparently I'm an addict.)

I am reading...I managed to read a couple more pages in Decision Points! LOL! But I'm also reading something else that's kind of kicking my rear emotionally. Yikes.

I am hoping...to totally rock this week with minimal episodes of impatience on my part.

I am hearing...the swishing of the washing machine.

Around the house...dirt and dust are awaiting my intervention.

One of my favorite things...Babybel cheese.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Bible Study, proofread/edit a website, purchase a Shark Steam Mop (if I can talk Aaron into it), Life Group, Sectional Council, Fine Arts Festival in GR.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:

Boo Boo at her finest - Christmas 2008. She thought she was so funny. So did I.

Simple Monday...

2011-03-07T13:18:00.009-05:00

Outside my window...it's bright and sunny and maybe, just MAYBE, some snow will melt.

I am thinking...about a friend who just lost her dad. I am so sorry for her loss and am praying for her.

I am thankful for...my own dad and the evolution of our relationship over the past two years.

From the kitchen...it's clean and tidy. Maybe I'll make cookies this afternoon when Kayla gets home from school.

I am wearing....jeans and a plaid, zip-up hoodie.

I am creating...STILL working on those art boards!

I am going...to pick up Kayla later. I just got back from coffee and watching-crazy-kids-in-the-play-area-at-the-mall with a dear friend who was such an important part of some of the best years of my life.

I am reading...still picking away at Decision Points and Outliers. Although, last week I chaperoned a Library Field Trip for March Is Reading Month! at school. Since I got there a few minutes early, I picked up a novel. Stephenie Meyer's "The Host" - it was an easy, brainless read and can easily be summed up as "'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' meets 'The Notebook.'" I'm ashamed that I've become so shallow in my literary choices.

I am hoping...that Karis will wake up from her nap pleasantly refreshed and devoid of all nastiness and screaming. Yesterday was a long, napless day and I'm severely paying for it now.

I am hearing...the dryer. It's laundry day. Woo hoo! Clean clothes! We can stop turning our underwear inside out! Just kidding. Or am I?

Around the house...the phone just rang with a "private caller" number. I answered it. It was an automated recording of a guy named Lloyd telling me his personal testimony of drug addiction and pathway to knowing Christ. It was strange. I've never had that happen before. (I know that was kind of a stretch for the "around the house" topic but I felt compelled to share that. Sorry.)

One of my favorite things...Hazelnut coffee from the Coffee Beanery. I'm not a big fan of flavored coffees, but I can't resist the Beanery's hazelnut. I had some today at Lakeside Mall.

A few plans for the rest of the week: maybe a funeral viewing, write some stuff for the church website, actually organize my mom2mom stuff and mail in my rental fee, a couple of 1/2 days of school, write my Engage Women's Ministry Newsletter (yikes! It's already March 7th! I'm so behind!), EACH prayer meeting...you know - a week in the life of us.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:
Us at a Michigan State Football game at Ford Field. I love football so much that I can only remember one detail about that day...but my husband would kill me if I wrote about it here. Sorry. Don't ask, even though I know you're dying to...

And the winner of "The Most Bizarre Experience of the Day Award" goes to...

2011-03-02T13:39:00.008-05:00

...Aaron Hlavin, of course.

He arrived home from the office yesterday evening only to grab his gym clothes and then head back out. For whatever reason, he decided to leave the garage door AND the back door of his shiny, black 2009 Equinox open while he ran in to change.

He said his "hellos" and "good-byes" then abruptly rushed out the door.

Approximately 3 minutes later, my phone rang- bringing up his cell phone number on the caller ID. (I'm convinced that it is impossible for the boy to spend any amount of time away from me without calling at least 1-2 times. It's good to know that I'm still as irresistible to him as I was in 1992).

"Yes, dear..." I deadpanned, feigning annoyance, after I pushed the "talk" button on the receiver.

"You are not going to believe what just happened!" he began.

Can I just say that I love when his calls to me begin with that sentence? I eagerly await with great anticipation as each ridiculous story unfolds. And he always delivers.

Yesterday was no exception.

When he realized that he'd left the door to the car open, he simply shut it with no further thought, got into the driver's seat, and then backed out of the garage into the street.

He'd only driven about 20 feet when he began to hear a weird scratching sound coming from the back seat. Without looking in the rear view mirror, he immediately threw the car into "park," jumped out of the vehicle and yanked open the back door.

A squirrel that had been munching on breakfast's leftover banana peel bolted from the car.

Yes. A. Squirrel.

This little piece of craziness delights me on two levels:

1. Just the simple "what-in-the-world?!?!" factor in and of itself is awesome.

2. Who's the "car slob" now, baby? My brand of car slobbery has never attracted local wildlife.

Simple Monday...

2011-02-28T09:53:00.008-05:00

I'm "stealing" this format from a friend of mine since sometimes I have a hard time focusing on what to focus on. I figured if I do this on Mondays, it might help motivate me to write more frequently throughout the rest of the week. We'll see about that.

Outside my window...is cold, ugly, slushy, melting snow. It's way colder out than I thought. I learned that this morning after it felt like my brain froze from the wind. Do you know that feeling? Almost like you need to chip the ice layer from your frontal lobe? Maybe it's just me.

I am thinking...that I really need to get on that treadmill. PBS can't babysit Karis all day.

I am thankful for...a 6 year old who appreciates a set of parents that love and care for her - to the deepest level she's capable of appreciating. She is only 6 after all.

From the kitchen...an apple cinnamon candle is burning. We gave it to my a mother-in-law as a gift a few years ago. She gave it back to me, because my father-in-law suffers from INSANE asthma attacks when candles are burned in his home. Which reminds me of a time, years ago, before smoking was outlawed in public places: we were in a smoky coffee house with my in-laws and he began having one of his famous asthma attacks. These attacks are epic: obnoxiously loud coughing and extreme gagging. It's quite a sight to behold. In the middle of the poor man trying to breathe, Aaron declared, "Dad! Knock it off! You're embarrassing us!"

I am wearing.... gorgeous polka-dot fleece pajama pants and a long sleeve gray T-shirt.

I am creating...boards/mattes for Kayla's art. She's in a class on Saturdays and has done some really good pieces. She wants to have an art show this summer, so I bought some foam core board. I'm in the process of mounting the pieces on the board.

I am going...to the bookstore today to return extra study guides.

I am reading...Decision Points by George W. Bush and Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. It is taking me a while, because lately I have a hard time wading through non-fiction. I think my brain is atrophying.

I am hoping...to get caught up on a lot of things that got put on the back burner over Winter Break.

I am hearing...the furnace kick on. Thank the Lord. It is freezing in here.

Around the house...it's quiet and tidy. I rearranged the living room last week and added my mom's curio cabinet to the living room. The room seems cozy now. I'm reclaiming it from the children. I needed an "adult room" in my house again. They have been banished from this room.

One of my favorite things...my new pink Copco Travel Mug. I'm a simple person.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Spaghetti & Meatballs; Esther: It's Tough Being A Woman; Mom2Mom Sale organizing; editing/proofreading a website; Life Group; continue to learn/experiment with new church software; my friend's birthday; Green Room; church...just a couple of things.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing: Kayla & Aaron before the Daddy/Daughter Hawaiian Luau at School. She wanted her hair straightened for the event. I obliged her since I now own an incredible device for doing so. I attempted to straighten Aaron's as well - it didn't go so well. This pic makes me laugh because Kayla looks like she's in pain and Aaron looks maniacal.

The vaporous nature of life...

2011-02-21T11:01:00.007-05:00

I'm sorry to go AWOL for a few weeks and then hit you with this when I come back. But my heart is heavy. Within the past days, I've either crossed paths with or become entwined in the lives of individuals who have dealt with:

1. serious car accidents
2. dangerous complications in pregnancies
3. the suicides of two different teenagers on two different occasions
4. the loss of a newborn baby just hours into his life and after a very complicated, high risk pregnancy

I'm no stranger to the frailty of life. I'm a pastor's wife - the nature of what we do involves the privilege and honor of being invited into the most emotional, intimate and often heart wrenching moments of peoples' lives to offer support and care. I am also one who spent the last hours of her mother's life bedside and was present for the moment she took her last breath. But sometimes, I forget. This weekend I have been reminded.

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
James 4:13-15

You're currently reading the musings of the worst offender when it comes to saying "today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business...blah blah blah." I'm the quintessential planner-type personality. I don't have fun - I plan spontaneity. I have more lists than I know what to do with. If you call me on Monday and want to have dinner with me on Friday, I will be annoyed because I've already planned to make meatloaf for dinner that night.

You probably think I'm kidding. I'm not.

But right now, in light of those events - both serious and tragic - and the EACH efforts our church is partnering in, I am feeling a renewed sense of purpose and intentionality. I am praying that God would open my eyes and make me ready to help and encourage those who need it.

Will I stop planning out every second of my day? Probably not. :) I'll just be less inclined to be annoyed and do my best to consider it a divine privilege when I'm compelled to stop and be a part of what God has for me that day. And I trust that there will be a time in my life when annoyance isn't part of the myriad of emotions I experience when I'm urged to stop and act.

Well, gotta run. Writing this is encroaching on the time slot I have allotted for showering. Just kidding. Or am I?

Was it worth it?

2011-02-04T09:33:00.015-05:00

Kayla vehemently avoids anything that may even hint at the idea that there may be pain involved.

While I'm hoping that this trait will carry into her teenage years and thus result in a body free of piercings, it's proving to be quite the challenge in the "baby-tooth-losing-phase-of-life."

About 2 months ago, we "suffered the loss" of the first tooth. That was quite an ordeal. I think the expression on her face says it all:

Under "normal" circumstances (i.e. children who are excited to lose teeth and get cash for it), those pearly white little teeth start dropping like flies after the first one comes out. Not in our house. Since the loss of that first one back in early December, she has been, shall we say, "reluctant" to allow the further extraction of any more teeth.

Currently, she has approximately 4-5 loose baby teeth (it's hard to say, since she won't let me check). My dad keeps telling me to "just let them fall out on their own." I just can't. The discolored, little snaggle-tooth dangling by a small piece of flesh drives me crazy. So I keep telling her that they are all going to fall out at once and she'll look like a toothless old man. That didn't work.

The front bottom one was so loose that she was talking weird, and biting into things that she'd normally use her front teeth for, with her molars. After an entire dinner of not understanding a word she was saying, watching that little tooth flap in the wind as she was speaking the unintelligible gibberish, and watching food fall out of her mouth as she performed the weirdest feats in an effort to bite into things, I couldn't stand it any longer.

Last night, we extracted baby tooth #2 after the most unbelievable display of...I don't even know how to describe it. Believe it or not, I am completely at a loss for words. And unfortunately, I'm really stubborn. So when the kids dig their heels in, so do I. It's something I'm working on, but last night was a moment of weakness in the area of my personal growth.

The following is a list of various things that transpired on her end during the Great Extraction:
1. Wailing
2. Flailing
3. Guttural moaning
4. Clamping jaw shut
5. Jerking head away
6. Sobbing
7. Grabbing my wrists

From me:
1. Hysterical laughter of disbelief at what I was witnessing (I got in a LOT of trouble from Aaron and Kayla for laughing - Kayla was devastated that I would "laugh at her"...and Aaron was less than happy that I was devastating her)
2. The use of my entire body to restrain her

Once I had a clear shot at it, it was only a matter of barely flicking it to get it out. That's how loose it was.

And then it was over. The drama ended as quickly as it had begun.

And she was happy. And delightful. And skipping around the house in a great mood.

As I sit here writing this, I go back to title of this post: Was it worth it?

I don't know. But she was all smiles this morning when she pulled the dollar out from under her pillow and rewarded me with a huge hug and kiss. "Thank you, Mommy," she said in her most charming voice.

You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em...

2011-01-25T12:28:00.007-05:00

Sunday evening I emptied the Hello Kitty backpack that Karis had brought to church only to discover a deck of playing cards swiped from Freedom Christian's Connection Center Cafe'...and a $20 bill.

I immediately showed Karis the money and the following is the exchange that occurred between the two of us:

ME: Do you know where this came from? (holding up the $20 bill)
KARIS: From da Connection Center. And den in my bag.
ME: How did it get in your bag.
KARIS: It was with da cards.
ME: How did it get in your bag with the cards?
KARIS: Sara gave it to me.
ME: Which Sara?
KARIS: My preschool Sara.
ME: Are you sure?
KARIS: No.
ME: Was it a big girl Sara or a little girl Sara?
KARIS: A big girl Sara.
ME: Miss Brenda's big girl Sara or the other big girl Sara?
KARIS: Yeah.
ME: Well which is it Karis? Preschool Sara? Miss Brenda's Sara? Or the other Sara?
KARIS: All of dem...

I exasperatedly began contacting each of the Saras (or mothers of the Saras) to find out where this money came from. It was a fruitless endeavor as not one of them were accessory to the crime.

I'm beginning to think that maybe some poor unassuming, latte' sipping woman is out 20 bucks because my kleptomaniacal three year old rifled through her purse.

My father-in-law's take on the whole ordeal is that Karis was playing Poker in the Connection Center before church and won the pot...

I'll go with that. It makes me feel better.

And the Connection Center Cafe' is getting a $20 donation. So if the cash was yours, it went to a good cause.

(sigh)....

2011-01-22T10:56:00.005-05:00

Last night at dinner, we were having a nice family discussion about college.

KAYLA: Mom, you went to college, right?

ME: Yep. I finished college before Daddy and I got married.

(this is a little tidbit that I subtly insert into conversations with my daughters whenever appropriate. College first. Marriage later. Much later. Kids even later. Much, much, much later.)

KAYLA: So you went to college to be a mom, right?

I died a little inside last night.

The power of memory...

2011-01-10T13:56:00.007-05:00

Kayla, my firstborn, is an amazing child. She gets that from her dad. Her mother, however, has genetically bestowed upon the child the horror that is sensitive skin. And yes, while those of us with sensitive skin do tend to have lovely complexions, we are also cursed with the propensity to break out any time a foreign substance comes in contact with our gorgeous epidermis. We also tend to have dry skin - which can result in keratosis pilaris (in my case) and eczema (in Kayla's case).

And I give you all of that hideous background information so that I may move forward with this:

Kayla has very dry skin, especially during the winter months. So I let her use my moisturizer on her face.

The first time she ever applied it, she smiled warmly, sighed deeply and cooed affectionately, "Mmmmmm...smells like Mommy." During each subsequent application, she happily mumbles, "Mommy's lotion" as we apply it to her face. I get that. I really deeply understand that sense of contentment and well being associated with certain smells.

The phenomenon of an emotion/person-attached-to-a-smell resonates so strongly with me. The thing I miss the most about my own mother is her scent. It was so unique to her. When she inhabited a room, an amalgamation of Windsong, Oil of Olay, and White Rain hairspray subtly permeated the air. And it would linger long after she left, leaving me with an overwhelming feeling of comfort and happiness. Even during the rockiest times of our relationship (which there were many in my teenage and young adult years), her scent brought comfort and calm to my insanity.

I miss that. I miss her.

Susan Gail Hatton
January 15, 1958 - January 10, 2009

Note: While attempting to pinpoint the various scents that made up my mom's particular smell, I realized that that my moisturizer, as "old lady" as it may be is Oil of Olay (don't judge - it works on my sensitive skin! Everything else makes me break out!). And I'm currently in the process of finishing up a bottle of White Rain hairspray. Funny how these things become ingrained in us.

Project 30: Tangled

2011-01-10T13:50:00.004-05:00

I'll admit it: Sometimes prayer and Bible reading are just "things I do" as a Christian. During this time of prayer and fasting, I am constantly being reminded that those "things" need to be part of "who I am." The "things" need to be interwoven so tightly into the fabric of who I am...tangled up in who I am.

I'm also loving that our church Prayer Guide for Project 30, the daily devotional book I randomly chose for 2011, and the day-to-day happenings in my life just keeping getting tangled together as well. God is so creative like that.

I hope your time of prayer and fasting has been powerful as well!

Project 30: 30 Days to Connect and Grow Through Prayer

2011-01-03T12:58:00.008-05:00

Freedom is spending the month of January praying and seeking the heart of God through fasting (you can find a podcast regarding this topic on our website under "resources".).

We're calling it Project 30. It will culminate in the 24 Hour Prayer Flood on January 28-29...which is amazing. People sign up for time slots during the allotted 24 hours and then spend that time at the church praying for our community, friends and family.

I am copying a great deal of this from the distribution piece my husband put together for the church. I particularly like this:

"Sometimes in life we have moments that can define us to be the best we can be. Sometimes those moments can stir our hearts so intensely that we begin to live with more purpose, passion and awareness of the presence of God in our lives.

That is when a moment becomes a movement. A movement is when a person lives beyond the experience and understands the ongoing workings of the One who created it.

As you begin to pray and seek the heart of the Lord for your life, our church and the community, I hope that this will bring a greater awareness of God's presence, and a greater awareness of God telling His story through you..."

Preparing Spiritually

Begin by confessing your sins to God and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal areas of weakness. Forgive all who have offended you and ask forgiveness from those who you have have offended (Mark 11:25; Luke 11:4; 17:3-4). Surrender your life fully to Jesus and reject those desires that hinder you (Romans 12:1-2). Trust the Holy Spirit's power to help you fast.

Types of Fasting

The type of fast you choose is between you and God, depending on your physical ability. He will honor your best. You may want to use a combination of fasts.

FULL FAST: Drink only liquids (you determine the number of days). Consult your physician first.

DANIEL FAST: Eat no meats, sweets or rich foods. Drink water and juice and eat fruits and vegetables.

THREE DAY FAST: This can be any type of fast or sacrifice of something other than food.

PARTIAL FAST: Fast from sunup to sundown or one meal per day.

FAST OF SACRIFICE: Give up TV, radio, iPod, etc - anything that would be a personal sacrifice for you.

General Prayer Guide for Project 30:

Monday|Personal Cleansing
May God reveal our hears and cleanse us. Pray for your personal vision for your life this year.

Tuesday|Freedom Christian
Pray for vision for pastoral leadership and an awakening in our hearts toward God's desire to use us and work through us.

Wednesday|The Harvest
Pray that God will bring those who do not yet know Jesus Christ through the doors of our church. Pray that we will have influence throughout our community.

Thursday|Church Family Needs
Pray for financial stability, freedom from debt and blessings on the jobs for those who work hard. Pray for the physical, spiritual and relational health for the families of our church and for a new sense of purpose in lives.

Friday|Youth and Children of Freedom
Pray that this generation will see and experience an authentic outpouring of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

Throughout the month, I'll be periodically checking in to post any thoughts and ideas I get through prayer, reading the word and fasting this month! I hope you'll join me...

My Christmas is "Betta" than yours....

2010-12-14T10:08:00.017-05:00

Yes, Betta, as in Siamese Fighting Fish.

A little history: Let's go back to a lovely weekend in early November when we dog sat Tucker, our youth pastor's adorable little Yorkie/Shih Tzu mix. My children fell in love with him. They continue to talk about him and pray for him at bedtime with regularity. They have since met an adorable kitten named Georgie, a friendly little Westie named Sam, and a bighearted cat named Son. They have pet fever.

My husband is anti-pet, in a major way. (I'm convinced it's because he is still suffering from a broken heart over sending our beloved 22 lb. orange tabby, Rudy, to a new home 4 years ago. There was a major biting incident involving Aaron's knee, swelling, redness, a trip to the ER for antibiotics and four resulting puncture scars. We had a 2 year old at the time, and Rudy had just bitten the "alpha male" in our home - he was feeling liberated as far as biting was concerned. That was our first "difficult parenting decision.")

Anyway, Aaron has vowed to never own another pet.

After our wonderful weekend with Tucker, I began quoting statistics on regarding the correlations between owning pets and longevity and overall happiness. I told him how much my ever-present cloud of melancholy had lifted during the weekend we had the dog. Also, the girls were so happy and well-behaved.

My argument grew stronger. He remained firm. This is the one circumstance regarding his precious daughters (who have the man wrapped so tightly that he's cutting off the circulation to their little fingers) to which he has not caved.

So, last Sunday, our dear friends Pierce and Meghan, who felt my children really needed a pet, presented my children with a fish. A Siamese Fighting Fish or Betta splendens.

He came pre-named. Mr. Christmas II. We just call him Mr. Christmas for short.

(Aside: In early 90s, a Christian rock band called Jacob's Trouble had a song called "Mr. Hitler." The chorus was, "They call me Mr. Hitler when they talk behind my back/ They call me Mr. Hitler, but I'm stating just the facts." Aaron and I have been singing this since the arrival of the Betta. But we've changed the words, of course, to "They call me Mr. Christmas when they talk behind my back..." True story.)

Anyway, my girls were thrilled about this gift, to say the least.

Betta care instructions were printed in Meghan's lovely handwriting on the side of the Freedom Christian Connection Center Cafe' coffee cup in which the fish was presented to us.

But I am arrogant. I've owned fish before. So I knew what I was doing. And Aaron trusted me since I am the pet-owning veteran in our relationship. My childhood pet ownership consisted of two dogs, a cat, several goldfish, a crayfish, gerbils, a guinea pig, frogs, toads, and several lizards. Again, I knew what I was doing.

We brought him home and transferred him to a big vase filled with room temperature water. Pinched some food into the vase and voila we had a pet.

Kayla and Karis peered at him through the glass and spoke to him in high-pitched voices, "Mr. Christmas! You're so cute! You're such a good boy! Peek-a-boo! He's lookin' at me! What a good boy!"

They didn't seem to notice that he was a little lethargic and didn't eat the food we gave him. The thought only entered my mind for a brief moment before I dismissed it. He was just having some adjustment difficulties and would be fine in a day or two.

I am arrogant.

_____________________________

Last night, we ventured out into the bitter cold to purchase Mr. Christmas a real bowl, with some gravel and plastic plants.

While in the fish aisle at Meijer, Aaron and I began to notice little bottles of "tap water neutralizing solution specifically formulated for Bettas." Apparently, chlorine levels in regular tap water are poisonous to fish.

I never knew this. My arrogance deflated.

We looked at one another in wide-eyed horror as we realized the dire nature of the situation.

"Mr. Christmas is in peril," Aaron declared in all seriousness.

We rushed home and switched everything out, put new "neutralized" water in the bowl and released Mr. Christmas into his new home.

His fins immediately fanned out and he swam around with newfound vigor. I pinched some food into his bowl and he ate it as soon as it hit the surface.

So far, he seems to be doing well.

That was a close one.

Here are some photos of Mr. Christmas, happy in his new home:

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes....

2010-12-07T09:32:00.021-05:00

Its that time of the year again! You know...the time when I pretend to be Oprah...only with a lot less money...and I don't give away stuff to my viewers.

Each year I write about new products I've tried, loved and incorporated into my lifestyle over the previous 12 months. When I sat down to make my list this year, I was a little disappointed. I think I've become complacent in the way of trying new things. I've found what works and have stopped deviating from that. That's no fun!

So while this year's list may not be as impressive as years gone by, it has encouraged me to add something to my New Year's Resolutions: Try New Things.

With that said, here we go:

Nivea: A Kiss of Smoothness Hydrating Lip Care SPF 4 . That's quite a name, is it not? I just refer to it as that "Nivea lip stuff." Anyway, a friend of mine got a really good deal on this at Walgreen's a few months ago and shared the love. I am addicted. This is a big step for me in the way of lip care considering I'm kind of a dude when it comes to my lips. I rarely wear anything in the way of stick, gloss, stain or plumper. My lip balm of choice for the past 25 years has been the same stuff my dad used when I was kid: Chapstick Original. Yeah. Awesome. I know. Not now. I have Nivea: A Kiss of Smoothness Hydrating Lip Care SPF 4.

Target's up & up Deep Cream Cleanser. The description on the tube reads: "deep cleans pores. cool, tingling feeling. oil free." There's really nothing more that I could add. But of course I will. I'm really bad at washing my face before I go to bed. But now I can't wait to because of this stuff - washing my face is the highlight of my day. And that is a sad statement about my life, apparently. Anyway, it makes my skin feel all cold and fresh - kind of like old school Noxzema but not as intense.

Dove Ultimate go fresh Revive pomegranate and lemon verbena deodorant. Why do all of my favorite things have such ridiculously long names? Oh well. I was a little apprehensive about trying this because my experiences with citrus or fruity deodorants have always ended badly. This one, however, has not. I won't divulge all of my sweating issues because some things are just better left unsaid.

Philosophy Pure Grace. I'm partial to the shower gel and spray fragrance. It's crisp and clean, like freshly washed sheets. And what is better than freshly washed sheets? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Except for maybe falling asleep with the windows open during a thunderstorm with a purring cat curled up next to your head. But that's about it. Nothing else.

Meijer brand precooked bacon. Yeah, you read that right. Bacon made it into The 2010 List of Jaime's Favorite Things. And when it comes to bacon, precooked is all I do. It's quick and easy. And I'm a lazy cook. This stuff is awesome! It's crispy and salty and perfect for brinner, which we do regularly in our home.

So there you have it.

May your Christmas Season be blessed with good friends and special family moments...and The 2010 List of Jaime's Favorite Things, of course. And here's hoping 2011 brings more than just bacon and lip balm into our lives.

It's probably a good thing that I don't do the "favorite thing giveaway" like Oprah does.

...underneath the mistletoe last night....

2010-12-04T13:56:00.005-05:00

While driving in the van listening to nonstop Christmas music on WNIC, Karis declared, "Mom, when Santa comes to our house, I want him to kiss you just like the song says."

"Alright, baby, we'll see about that."

***

Last night, Aaron took the girls to the Holiday Express event at Kayla's school while I ran a women's ministry event at our church. The attendees of the event were allowed to visit with Santa and give him their Wish Lists. The elementary school event. Not my women's event. That would've just been weird.

SANTA: What do you you want for Christmas, little girl?
KARIS: I want you to kiss my mommy.
SANTA: Is your daddy not doing a good enough job?
KARIS: No, he is not.

The poor little girl must think I'm crazy...

2010-11-23T13:18:00.003-05:00

Karisism: A phrase, word, name, place, quotation that my youngest daughter says incorrectly in the same manner as her father.

My oldest daughter's teacher's name is Mrs. McHaney. The eight year old girl who lives across the street's name is McKenzie.

Without fail, Karis calls the neighbor girl Mrs. McHaney.

And each time she does this, I feel the need to attempt to explain to poor McKenzie that Karis mixes things up with frequency and that Kayla's teacher's name is Mrs. McHaney. And without fail, the girl just stares at me like I'm an idiot as my voice trails off and I mumble, "Oh...nevermind."

The coyote problem in Warren, MI

2010-11-23T13:07:00.007-05:00

Karisism: A phrase, word, name, place, quotation that my youngest daughter says incorrectly in the same manner as her father.

Today our car was stopped at a red light on the way out of the subdivision. Three besweatered (yes, I made that word up - besweatered: wearing a sweater) chihuahaus barked their fool heads off at us.

"Oh mommy! Look at those little doggies! I LOVE dem! Da one in da red shirt is my favorite! What are those doggies called?" Karis exclaimed.

"Oh...those are chihuahuas," I deadpanned. I hate chihuahuas, by the way.

Karis continued on with a lengthy monologue praising the attributes of the besweatered canines. Her final sentence emphatically brought her thoughts to a close, "I LOVE those coyotes."

"Chihuahuas, Karis. Not coyotes."

"Oh yeah. Dat's right."

Happy Birthday to my little saint...

2010-11-02T10:01:00.007-04:00

Dear Karis,

You made your grand, albeit loud, entrance into the world on November 1, 2007. The fact that you joined us on All Saints Day makes me laugh - a lot.

Your birth was a fairly uneventful, easy, planned C-section, because you were already 9 pounds 7 ounces a week before your actual due date - and if we recall correctly, your sister was only 8'6" and got stuck en route into the world. I didn't want to do that again. So one spinal block, one huge incision, and at least 15 of the OB staff kneeling on my chest in an effort to remove you from my abdomen later (I'm pretty sure you had crammed yourself into my rib cage and had your arms and legs wrapped around my spine), you emerged - screaming. And you didn't stop for three days.

Karis Layne, you continue to make your presence known in this world in such an unbelievable way. You explode into a room and bring so much life into it. I don't think I have the words to accurately portray you. You are sensitive, emotional, willful, opinionated, hilarious, engaging and adorable.

I'll start with sensitive and emotional. I'm not sure if this is a girl thing or a Daddy thing, because your sister excels in this area as well. A recent example: "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" was on TV the other night. There's a random scene where Snoopy is dancing to the music Schroeder plays on his toy piano. Suddenly, the music becomes melancholy and Snoopy begins to weep. A few moments later, you broke down into soul-wrenching sobs. When I asked you what was wrong you said, "That doggie is so sad! He's cwyin'!" And then you periodically cried and whimpered throughout the rest of the evening and went to bed sobbing over the "pouw doggie." It broke my heart that you were so sad!

And then there are the strong opinions and willfulness that have been the source of many battles so far in this home. But I'm holding on to hope that some day that will be channeled into something productive and positive because I'm watching it happen slowly. It is amazing to watch as your sense of right and wrong evolve. And this willfulness is a large part of that evolution.

For example, when I first explained to you that in our home, we choose not to say, "Oh my God or Oh my Gosh" but "Oh my goodness" was okay, I thought my head was going to implode. You would emphatically say, "OH. MY. GOODNESS! Dat's not da bad word, right?"

"That's correct honey. 'Oh my goodness' is okay to say."

Then you'd turn around with a look of pure mischief on your face and whisper just loud enough for me to hear, "Oh my Gosh."

After many trips to the Time Out Chair, I think you've learned your lesson on this. Because now, whenever Candace (of Phineas and Ferb fame - something I never would have let your sister watch at 3 years old - oh how things change with each child...this is why we're stopping at two...out of fear that any other children I have would be X-Files fans by 6 months old), says "Oh, my Gosh!" you declare emphatically, "MOM! She said a bad word! We don't say that!!!!"

And believe me this is only a very minor example of the willfulness. The blatant naughtiness that goes on in this house is unreal. But as I said, you're learning. And it is really cool to watch this sense of right and wrong develop.

I previously mentioned that you are hilarious, engaging and adorable. Anyone who knows you can attest to this. And its not just because you're my kid. I'm not a big fan of kids and if you were not my own, I'd still think you're hilarious, engaging and adorable. I could go on for pages and pages! I'll only give you a few examples:

You're fully potty trained now (another display of willfulness, let me assure you). The other day you finished your business then peeked into the toilet at what you had wrought and declared, "My poop looks like a SHARK!!!!"

I love to kiss your neck and will attack it any time I see it exposed. I call it your "kissy neck." You've taken to playing the game with me now. "Look up at the ceiling," you say in a delightful sing-song voice. And when I do you yell, "KISSY NECK" and basically attack my jugular. Its unbelievably amusing.

Karis, I can say without a doubt, that you feel life very deeply and choose to squeeze every last drop of it out of every day. You don't waste a second. I admire that. You are teaching me so many new things about myself.

And then there are those huge, brown eyes that have pierced deeply into your daddy's heart.

You are an amazing little girl and I love watching your life unfold piece by loud, exuberant piece.

I love you Boo Boo. Happy Birthday.

Love,
Mommy

My little potty trained pirate...

2010-10-28T09:33:00.003-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, I announced that I was beginning round two of potting training Karis.

You'll be happy to know that a fully potty trained nearly 3 year old lives in my house (or not...and I'm just deluding myself into thinking that you all care about the mundane details of my life). And she loves to tell random strangers that she pooped in the toilet and has Curious George underwear.

And while it so great that I no longer have to buy diapers, my favorite part of this whole potty trained thing is the way her pants fit her now. Each time she bends down we get at least 3 inches worth of a half-moon.

This is how I straighten my curly hair....

2010-10-25T11:10:00.000-04:00

Irony: The use of words to convey the opposite of their literal meaning; a statement or situation where the meaning is contradicted by the appearance or presentation of the idea.

P.S. The hands over the face are not a requirement...this simply indicates that I am not wearing make-up and don't care to sear that into your minds.

In case there was any question in your mind...

2010-10-20T12:04:00.004-04:00

...as to the origins of the genetic material that went into producing this child:

Two Way Conversations...

2010-10-19T12:47:00.005-04:00

I am notorious for not actively participating in conversations with my family. In my defense, you have to understand that there is so much "conversation" that occurs in my home on a daily basis, that I have to go to my silent happy place with regularity. I am an introvert - I need my "me time."

Anyway, Aaron will finish a monologue, and then pause with anticipation. And then pick up with, "Really? You don't have anything to say to that?"

And generally I'll say, "No...I don't. I think you pretty much have it all figured out. What more can I add?"

Its a really nasty habit I need to work on.

Yesterday, while doing my homework for the Bible Study I'm leading, I was convicted in yet another area where I tend to let the conversation be one-sided.

The author of the Study said,

When you read the Bible, the God of the universe is talking to you. So, what should you do in response? Talk back! God is looking for a two-way conversation. When we read God's Word and pause here and there to say something to Him in response, we are participating in a dialogue with the Divine!

And then she offered some really practical examples of doing so:

1. While reading a passage that speaks of God's greatness, majesty or power, worship Him for a moment and ask Him to help you see Him more readily for who He is.

2. When a passage is difficult or confusing, tell God that and then ask Him to help you understand what it means.

3. If you read something that you want to believe but you don't, ask Him to help increase your faith.

4. When a passage reminds you of another's need, take that moment to pray for the individual.

5. While reading a passage describing wonderful things He's done for you, thank Him. Tell Him what His work in your behalf has done for you. If you feel like crying, don't just cry about Him. Cry to Him! Tell Him how deeply He touches your heart.

God is looking for a two-way conversation. Am I willing to participate in it today? I am going to be more intentional about doing so.

Round Two...

2010-10-05T09:24:00.006-04:00

Okay...so today I began seriously potty training Karis for the second time. I attempted this feat last Spring and it was an epic failure.

I'm praying this time will be better.

I bought her Pirate Potty (yes, she wanted Pirate Potty and not Princess Potty...oh well...)

She went on the toilet once this morning and is now rockin' Sesame Street while wearing My Little Pony undies (I decided to totally forgo Pull Ups and just allow her to feel her shame. Kidding...the Pull Ups were pointless last time. So I covered my couches with garbage bags and beach towels in the event of any accidents.)

I won't even begin to horrify you with the details of the monumental tantrum she threw when I put the underwear on her. Strong willed is an understatement...oh, I'm sorry, my pediatrician prefers the word "spirited." Whatever phrase you use, simply put, Karis likes life on her terms.

Anyway, she'll be three in less than a month. And I'm sorry, but her poop is like that of an adult man and I'm getting to the point of nearly dry heaving every time I change her diaper. I'm so ready to be done.

Karis, let's do this thing.

Good and Best

2010-10-04T13:53:00.008-04:00

I am posting this as additional material for the monthly newsletter I send out for Engage Women's Ministry of Freedom Christian.

taken from
Jesus: 90 Days With the One and Only
by Beth Moore

Luke 10:38-42 (New International Version)
"38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41 'Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'"

This passage is not a contrast between good and bad. It's a contrast between good and better. Martha was a good woman. Jesus loved her very much, apron and all, as confirmed in John 11:5 - "Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus." Her joy and satisfaction, however, were sacrificed on the altar of self-appointed service. Recognizing Martha's positives and negatives, let's explore some applications together.

1.) Martha opened her home, but Mary opened her heart (vv. 38-39). Don't miss the fact that Martha opened her home to Jesus. Not Lazarus, the head of the house. Nor Mary, the depth of the house. It was the "hands" of the house that invited Jesus in. Otherwise, Mary wouldn't have had a set of feet at which to sit, nor would Lazarus have had a friend with which to recline. Martha's hospitality brought Him there. If only Martha had understood that Christ wanted her heart more than He wanted her home.

2.) Distraction is the noble person's biggest hindrance to listening (vv. 39-40) Martha wasn't stopping her ears and refusing to listen. She was simply "distracted." In this way, we've all been Marthas! How many times have we reached the car after a church service only to realize we missed half the message due to distraction?

Now imagine that the church service was meeting in your den while you were preparing lunch! Talk about distracting? The Greek word for "distracted" in verse 40 is perispao, meaning "to draw different ways at the same time, hence to distract with cares and responsibilities." Can we relate? You see, our culture may be entirely different, but women have had the same challenges since the beginning of time.

3.) Sometimes ministry can be the biggest distraction to the pursuit of true intimacy with God (v. 40) I've heard the saying many times, "If Satan can't make us bad, he'll make us busy." Actually, he can't make us anything, but he gets a lot of cooperation. I am reminded our our study on the good Samaritan. ow wise of our God to place these two accounts back-to-back in Scripture. First we saw an incriminating look at servants of God who ministered in the the temple but refused to help a dying man. Now we catch a look at a servant who was so busy helping, she couldn't hear from the heart of God.

4.) Martha forgot to keep the "pre" in preparation (v. 40) Understand that the preparations she made were not frivolous. They were important! By doing them, Martha served Christ appropriately and enhanced the atmosphere in which He taught. Very likely she served a meal and made sure all the arrangements were made for His comfort and the exercise of His own ministry. These preparations were important. They just weren't limited to the "pre." The issue is that she continued all her duties when the time came to sit at Christ's feet and listen.

I speak at many conferences during which the event's leadership either never makes it into the sanctuary or, when they do, they never lose that harried and distracted look. Recently, however, I spoke at a conference where the leadership was truly the most participatory, involved group during the Bible study. When I inquired later, they said, "Oh, we worked really hard in advance to get everything finished so we could relax when the time came." They made all the preparations, but when the time came, the men of the church and several hired caterers served while they attended. What wisdom we fin in keeping the "pre" in preparation!

5.) Those distracted by service are often those who miss how much Jesus cares (v. 40) I have a feeling if someone had asked Mary at the end of the day if Christ cared about her, she would have answered affirmatively without hesitation. But Martha came to Christ and asked, "Don't you care?"

Beloved, Christ's love for us never changes. However, our sense of His loving care can change dramatically from time to time. And I believe the determining factor in whether we sense His love or not is our willingness to abide in Him, to seek to practice a relationship in which we develop a keener sense of His presence.

Sometimes we are so shocked when a seasoned servant of God confesses that he or she is struggling with belief and awareness of God's loving care. We might think, "You of all people! You are such a wonderful servant of God. How can you doubt for a moment how much He cares for you?" Could it be that somehow service has distracted them from abundant, life-giving intimacy? Don't neglect to give Him ample opportunities to lavish you with the love H always feels for you.

6.) Many things are important, but only one thing is necessary (v. 42) In our fight for right priorities, many things vie for the top of the heap, but only one is necessary. Ultimately, our relationship with Christ is the one thing we cannot do without. Christ's message is not that we should neglect family and other responsibilities to pray and to study the Bible. His message is that many things are important, but one thing is essential: Him. Incidentally, Mary turned out to be one of the greatest servants of all, lavishing Christ with her most expensive offerings (see John 12). She learned. So can we.

What are the main choices standing between you and a more consistent experience of living by God's best priorities, not merely settling for good ones?

The ongoing and complicated process of grieving...

2010-09-21T10:52:00.005-04:00

Autumn seems to trigger my "grief reflex." The beginning of the school year, Halloween, Karis's birthday, Thanksgiving (then eventually Christmas) offer the potential of new memories and photos opportunities that will once again remind me of the gaping hole in my life.

January 2011 will mark two years since she's been gone. The tears come less frequently now and conversations about her are less sorrowful. But not a day goes by that I don't think about her, miss her and wish she was still a part of our lives.

Its times like these that I am thankful for my sense of humor and the ability Aaron and I have to laugh at what others may consider awkward and inappropriate. Karis found an old picture of her and dad and insists on placing it on the living room coffee table whenever my dad comes over for a visit. Karis doesn't remember her because she was just over a year old when she died (although she insists that she does remember her and this insistence makes her sister indignant). And the fact that my dad has a girlfriend now makes the recurring appearance of this picture more uncomfortable and therefore more amusing to us.

I laugh and cry in the same breath.

The method to our madness...I think....

2010-09-02T09:20:00.035-04:00

Several days ago I posted on Facebook a strange conversation between me and Aaron, that I now refer to as "The Barbie Man Exchange." For those of you who may not know what I'm talking about, here it is:

Aaron: So I deleted that weird picture of Kayla's Barbie Man off my phone...
Me: Barbie Man? What in the world? Do you mean Ken doll?
Aaron: Uh...yeah...Ken doll... Don't put that on Facebook, okay?

And while it generated at least 15 comments of mockery, not one person asked why Aaron had a weird picture of a Ken doll on his phone in the first place. And that concerns me for all of your sanity as well as ours.

Disclaimer regarding sanity: This case of mistaken identity is coming from the people who, while riding on the ferry to Ellis Island in NYC, thought this man was David Hasselhoff :

So much so, that Aaron crept into the picture with him:

With that said, today, after over a month of cyber silence from "The life I I never dreamed of..." I bring you "The Explanation of the Weird Picture of a Ken Doll (aka Barbie Man)."

Flash back to February, when the makers of Old Spice delighted us with this amazing commercial and then several subsequent commercials that were just as awesome:

Aaron and I love these commercials. A lot.

Now flash side ways, LOST-style, or something like that to the second week of August. I went to Hot Springs, AR to lead a missions trip to the Hillcrest Children's Home. On the second day of my trip, I received a picture text from my husband. And while the actual picture I've posted looks nothing like the man in the Old Spice commercial, imagine viewing it grainy and pixelated (like those pictures of Sasquatch that you see on the internet) on a tiny, pay-as-you-go, piece of junk phone. It could be anyone, right? Plus, it had the deceptive caption I've posted as well. (Keep in mind the aforementioned Hasselhoff mistaken identity):

Look at your man, now back at me....

After seeing the horribly grainy, pixelated, famous-picture-of-the-Sasquatchesque picture text on my phone, I was slightly concerned that the Old Spice man was baby sitting my daughters while I was in Arkansas.

Upon my arrival home to temperatures below 105 degrees, I asked to see the picture Aaron had taken from his Droid. And the photo was much clearer and looked nothing like the Old Spice man. I told him that he was weird and ridiculous. But for some reason, at that point he didn't delete the photo.

Several days ago, he finally chose to do so, and thus "The Barbie Man Exchange" was born.

Aren't you glad that you waited over a month for this?

He Is Your Life (Colossians 3:1-17 The Message)

2010-07-20T11:12:00.011-04:00

Colossians 3 was part of my devotions today. I was really moved by it because I think this portion of scripture perfectly describes how we should live our Christian lives. In my years as a Christ-follower, I've noticed that people who proclaim Christ tend to fall into one of the following categories:

A. All law: Don't do this, don't do that, do this, do that. If you don't adhere to the list of do's and do not's how can you call yourself a Christian?!

B. All grace: Its all covered under the blood, so it doesn't matter! I can still sin, not repent and be all good! Jesus died once and for all!

This portion of scripture is encouraging us to incorporate both in our lives. A healthy balance. Not compromise, but a moderate mixture of law and grace. Over the past two and a half decades, I have flip flopped between the two extremes. However, throughout the past 5-7 years, the Lord has taught and IS teaching me how to live a more "Colossians 3" life.

My summary of the scripture is this: Live holy lives. Set yourself up as an example. But be full of grace and mercy toward those who haven't arrived at that place in their journey. And then speak the truth in love.

Here's the scripture as paraphrased in The Message (bold emphasis mine):

1-2 So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.

3-4 Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

5-8 And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It's because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.

9-11 Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

12-14 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

15-17 Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

Ouch. The Word separates bone and marrow.

Weather Channel! I TRUSTED you!

2010-06-22T09:17:00.014-04:00

Kayla's last day of school was Thursday, June 17. I really want to minimize the tears, drama, arguing, tantrums, yelling and screaming this summer - I'll leave it up to you to attribute each of the aforementioned emotional outbursts to its appropriate Hlavin female.

So far, so good - but doing so is exhausting! If I had my druthers (what a stupid word!), and didn't have kids, I'd spend all summer sleeping or laying in the sun in my backyard (then my lovely shade of "zombie" just might make it up a notch to "undead").

But that's obviously not the case. And besides, if I didn't have kids, I'd go out a get a job that pays in cold hard cash instead of hugs, kisses, poop and pee.

(Wow...I just found a great new spot for my coffee while I type...it doesn't get in the way of the keyboard! Awesome!)

Okay, back to what I wanted to talk about.

To keep my children from going "Lord of the Flies" on each other and me, I planned out every second of the first two weeks of vacation.

Thursday:
11:49 a.m. Pick Kayla up from last day of school and take girls to McDonald's
1:00 p.m. Put Karis down for a nap and then make a birthday card with Kayla for the party she would attend later that night.
3:00 p.m. Play outside for a while.
5:00 p.m. Drop Kayla off at Birthday/dinner out with Karis and Aaron.
7:30 p.m. Pick up Kayla
8:00 p.m. Baths and bedtime
8:30 p.m. West Wing-a-thon (Aaron and I are watching The West Wing this summer)

***

Friday:
9:30 a.m. Hillcrest missions trip meeting with the gal who will be heading up the VBS portion of the trip; our children participated in all kinds of revelry during said meeting.

12:00 p.m. Lunch
1:00 p.m. Put Karis down for a nap and make Father's Day cards with Kayla
4:00 p.m. Immerse my children in carnival culture at the Warren Lions Fair; Dinner at CiCi's Pizza; trip to Sam's Club

8:30 p.m. Baths and bedtime
9:00 p.m. West Wing-a-thon

***
Saturday & Sunday:
Were kind of a blur due to graduation parties and Father's Day festivities.

***

Monday:
8-10 a.m. "Monday Morning Routine" (don't ask, but if I die and you're the one going through my stuff afterward, you'll find all the details of the "Morning Routines" for each day of the week spelled out in a journal with a picture of a Sasquatch on it (courtesy of my good friend Karrie) sitting on the baker's rack in my kitchen)

10:30 a.m. Water Park with the girls

12:30 p.m. Return from park in order to loan Pierce a set of golf clubs...he and Pastor Don forever have the image of me descending from my "Starfleet Academy" sticker-emblazoned mini van donned in "water park attire" seared into their cerebral cortexes.

1:00 p.m. Put Karis down for a nap and then weed the backyard with Kayla-she got freaked out by the spiders so I made her do a summer workbook page (this is currently a strong point of contention in our home. My husband thinks I'm a taskmaster. All I have to say is that he graduated with something like a 0.0000001 GPA, so who should be the one taking responsibility for the academics in our home? I thought so.)

3-8 p.m. A myriad of activities including walking to the park, playing on the playground, dinner, popsicles in the backyard, baths, bedtime, Aaron returning home just in time to help with bedtime (he had "presbyter stuff" to do at the District Office).

***

When I made all of these plans, I carefully consulted the weather channel. According to the weather channel, today was supposed to be cruddy. Well, I took a look outside during "Morning Routine" and the sun was shining in a crystal blue sky.

I already made my indoor plans! I am paralyzed with inflexibility and indecision! Plans don't get "unmade" in my world! Exclamation points are everywhere!!

So I guess I'll hide in the basement for the rest of the day while my children go Lord of the Flies on each other.

I want to be like her when I grow up...

2010-06-15T14:36:00.008-04:00

So, I told myself I wasn't going to brag about this. But I just can't contain it any longer.

Last Thursday, Kayla came home from school with an award called the "Young Hero Award."

She received it in "recognition of exemplary behavior and leadership" for the 2009-2010 school year. One student from each class was selected to receive this award. She was chosen out of 27 kindergartners in her class.

To be the recipient of the Green Acres Young Hero Award, one must have:

"...consistently displayed dignity and moral integrity. This student has been a role model for other students, and has personally chosen to respect all people, spend time helping others, and model leadership qualities. The above student has chosen to make the world a better place and has chosen to be a 'young hero.'"

I am so proud of her. At the same time, I am so humbled. I don't know if the same can be said about me. I want that for my life. And with God's help, I trust that I can be.

I will be a "thirtysomething hero."

Now, I'm mocking. But seriously.

My heart's desire is for some day to stand before the throne of God and hear Him say, "Jaime, you have accepted my Son as your Savior. In doing so, you have consistently displayed dignity and moral integrity. You were a role model for others in the way that you chose to respect and help others. The world was a better place because of the way that you modeled these qualities before others. Well done, good and faithful servant..."

And yet again, I am wrecked by the principles of my 6 year-old.

2,190 Days and Counting....

2010-06-02T09:44:00.001-04:00

Dear Kayla,

Well, here we are again. June 3...the anniversary of the day that permanently changed our lives. This year marks your 2,190th day on Planet Earth. Each one of those days has brought us an event, milestone, comment, conversation, attitude, or delight we've never experienced before.

Your father and I used to joke that the first born child was the experimental one that ends up getting the most messed up because the parents have no idea what they are doing. Your father and I are both firstborns and speak from experience. (We are kidding of course...we are perfect results of perfect parenting.)

Sometimes you and I go toe to toe, in a major way. And I don't like that. Its something I need to work on. And I'm trying. Someday when you read this, please know that I don't like that I'm short tempered and non-sympathetic. God is working that out of me.

When you and I aren't arguing, I can best describe you as "delightful." We couldn't be more proud of you. I tend to get caught up in the things you've "accomplished," like the fact that you've stayed in "green" all year long at school (aside from that one day you bonked a kid in the head with your resting mat thinking you were being funny and then the substitute teacher moved your clothespin directly from green to red...you like to pretend that day never happened). Or that you can read ANYTHING that crosses your path (sometimes that's frustrating because you are so easily distracted by the constant barrage of text - billboards, road signs, storefronts, flyers, you name it, you read it). Or that your past two progress reports and report cards have been perfect. Or that you can draw better than I can.

But what's way more important is the way your integrity and character are developing. You have such an innate sense of right and wrong and express your principles and ideals very articulately. Lately you've overheard your father and I using words like "hate" and "stupid" with less discretion than we did in the past ("I hate this commercial! That was so stupid!") Your response to this was, "I don't know why you guys think its okay to say so many bad words lately, but I think its really wrong..." And you're right, we need to curtail that.

And you love God so much that it often puts me to shame. You're learning that not everyone in the world believes the way we do and at times its confusing to you. But you're navigating it with grace and conviction rather than meanness and judgment.

You're an empathetic, tenderhearted little girl who frequently declares, "Mom...I love everyone in the world - even the people who are mean to me." And I really believe that to be true. After an incident at school with some mean girls, we talked it through and ended with a prayer. Yours went like this:

"Dear Jesus,
Thank you for all my friends at school. Please help the people who are mean. And help the bullies to start being nice and be with okay with what's going on inside of them.
Amen."

Not a word was uttered about your own pain or hurt. Instead, you petitioned on behalf of those who lashed out at you. I didn't learn that lesson until I was in my mid 20s. You're years ahead of the game.

You feel life very deeply (just like your daddy). Frequent tears of sorrow and tears of joy constantly remind us of this.

Last night as we tucked you into bed, we recounted June 3, 2004 and how special that day was because it changed our lives and taught us how to love more deeply than we ever had before. By the end of the story, tears illuminated your beautiful blue eyes, now rimmed in red. "I'm crying because I'm just so happy!" you sobbed.

Kayla, you have no idea how many milestones in your life, statements you've made, accomplishments you've completed, hugs you've given that have caused me do the same.

You are and continue to be "pure joy."

Love,
Mommy & Daddy

Shh....Don't tell my husband...

2010-05-27T18:47:00.001-04:00

Oh wait. Never mind. He'll see my descent into the abyss tomorrow when he mows the lawn.

I "garbage-picked" today. And what's more, apparently I'm proud of the fact because here I am telling all 7 of my readers out here in the middle of cyberspace.

Here's how it went down:

The girls and I took a lovely evening stroll through the 'hood while Aaron was at his monthly board meeting. As we rounded the bend, there they were, set by the curb of an elderly neighbor around the corner's home: five perfectly good, forest green, molded plastic patio chairs.

Without thinking, I hurried the girls back home, jumped in the van and returned to the site of my find. I pulled up to the curb and got out to inspect the chairs. I did all of this on brain autopilot. It was like a gene that had long lay dormant kicked in. And yes, it IS genetic. Paternally genetic. (I'll say no more since the provider of said gene reads this blog.)

Then the gravity of what I was about to do hit me. Hard.

I got back into the driver's seat of my vehicle and began to think about the activity in which I was about to participate: Garbage picking. In broad daylight. While people were in their yards. Was I seriously going to do this???

"What are we doing here, Mom? Do you know these people? Why are we just sitting here?" a concerned voice from the backseat asked.

And then I was resolute. Heck, yes, I was going to do this.

"I'm taking these chairs, Kayla."

"Isn't that stealing?"

"No honey, the people are throwing them out."

So I popped the hatch and proceeded to maneuver the five chairs into the back of my van.

Then much to my chagrin, the elderly owner of these rescued treasures was suddenly standing on the sidewalk. An extremely awkward conversation (on my part of course, because I'm socially inept) transpired in which the quality of the chairs was verified and an offer of a matching table was made - which I politely declined. I cordially thanked him and we said our goodbyes.

Then I jumped into the van and headed home.

"You're just like an alley cat, Mom," Kayla declared. "You go through garbage."

And I couldn't argue with that. But who cares? I've got some nice patio chairs. I might start doing this on a regular basis.

Then again, maybe I won't.

Brain Dump Tuesday

2010-05-11T20:20:00.001-04:00

The Engage Ladies Shopping Day at Partridge Creek on Saturday proved to be quite productive: two cute pairs of jeans, two sassy summer tops, one darling umbrella and three dangly necklaces all for a reasonable sum of money.

Mother's Day was amazing. I was the recipient of two unique and separate gift certificates for various spa and hair/nail services. (Thank you Husband and Spawn. And thanks, Daddy!)

Also, my husband gave me the opportunity to speak at Freedom Christian on Mother's Day...I think the podcast will be up some time this week.

I was pretty stoked that today's miserable weather enabled me to use the really cute umbrella I bought at H&M over the weekend.

I love my Bible study ladies. The second and fourth Tuesdays of the month are my favorites.

This evening, I enjoyed playing Candyland and Elefun with my girls.

Kayla & I love to play board games. So, tonight, we attempted to indoctrinate her sister with a couple of simple games. I'm thinking we have a lot of work to do on that Karis. Each time she picked a Candyland card, we asked her what color it was. Her answer, no matter the color, was, "Ummmmmm.....bwue (blue)." Then she'd knock the playing pieces off the board and laugh. Elefun consisted of throwing the butterflies everywhere while scream-laughing hysterically.

Oh well.

Kayla and I have begun reading the Junie B. Jones books. My extremely principled daughter is horrified that I would want her to read books with "so many bad words" (i.e. "dumb," "stupid," "hate.") However, she did laugh pretty hard when Junie B. declared that she'd teach her baby "monkey brother" how not to bite and kill people.

That particular little girl of mine will be six years old in under a month. For her birthday gift this year, we're renovating her room to make it more "grown up." She selected the colors - crazy shades of shocking pink and Pepto-Bismol pink. As she snuggled down in her bed last night in the room that pink threw up in, she declared, "I feel just like a princess."

Well, I really should be proofreading a document for my husband before he gets home from a late meeting...

Stay classy, Warren.

Monday Mumblings...

2010-05-03T13:01:00.001-04:00

What I did over the weekend:

1. Attended The 2nd Annual Green Acres Mother/Daughter Hoedown at Kayla's school. It was SO much fun and so well done by the school! (Notice our matching shirts).

2. Made cards and goodie bags with Kayla for some special people.

3. Began an amazing day at Freedom Christian with a fine cup of House Blend. Ended it with lunch and a couple of precious missionaries. Lots of good stuff in between.

What I am doing this week:

1. Enjoying the sunshine with my ladies.

2. Writing and studying.

3. Chillin' at MOPS.

4. Rockin' a playdate or two.

5. Blowin' it up with my Life Group.

What I am NOT doing this week:

1. Writing/sending out the Engage e-newsletter. I'm too focused on my message for Sunday. Sorry ladies! Maybe next week!

2. Cleaning my house.

3. Getting irritated with my children.

Which Scripture I am LOVING:

"God's loves is meteoric,
His loyalty astronomic,
His purpose titanic,
His verdicts oceanic.
Yet in his largeness, nothing gets lost;
Not a man, not a mouse slips through the cracks!"
Psalm 36:5-6 The Message

Have a great day!

Connect Grow Serve

2010-04-24T09:46:00.001-04:00

I am so excited that the Connection Center at Freedom is completed!

I believe that those people who felt led to donate to this project will be pleased. And so many people have worked tirelessly to make this happen - from making color decisions, to shopping, to installing, to managing details, to training...the list could (and does) go on and on.

Last night, I stopped by the church to see the completed task before its "unveiling" on Sunday. I had a reaction that I didn't anticipate: It took my breath away and I got the chills. I'm not a visionary by nature, so I don't get excited about stuff really easily. I'm task and detail oriented. But I'm finding that I'm get emotionally moved more and more by things tied to a bigger picture. Its a God-thing, obviously.

Aaron was just quiet (VERY unlike him) and a little choked up (VERY like him).

Here's the explanation for our emotional responses:

Many people may think that we're just trying to fit into a trend that has become common within churches. But that is not the case. This has been a dream of ours long before we even moved into the building at 41380 Ryan Rd. Aaron and I believe that this cafe fits into the vision of our church.

It will redirect the flow of traffic between and after services into a location that is warm, inviting and conducive to relationship building and strengthening. It creates an environment that makes one just want to "hang out" and spend time with others over a cup of coffee - or an Arnold Palmer. Classes and Life Groups will meet here. The college group will have their Bible Study here. The youth group will hang out here. It will create more opportunities for people to serve in ministries within the church.

To us, its not just a room remodel. And neither was the renovation of the childrens' areas. Its all part of vision and really going "all out" in an effort to facilitate that vision.

Connect. Grow. Serve.

P.S. I'm not posting pictures, because I want you to come on out and see it for yourself! Sunday at 9 or 11 a.m.! ;)

Temperamental

2010-04-14T10:32:00.001-04:00

According to Wikipedia, the "Four Temperaments" is a theory of psychology that stems from the ancient medical concept of "humorism" (the theory of the makeup and workings of the human body adopted by Greek and Roman philosophers and physicians involving black bile, yellow bile, phlegm and blood. Lovely, I know).

And thus the idea of the temperaments: melancholy, choleric, phlegmatic and sanguine. You can find all kinds of online tests to determine which categorizes you best. However, take it with a grain of salt and don't feel pigeonholed by it. By all accounts, I fall into the "choleric/melancholy" temperament description. Google it if you want to find out what a complicated mess I am. Just kidding.

If I labeled myself as such, I'd find that due to the introspective, perfectionistic, introverted nature of this particular temperament, I'd have more bad days than good.

But I'm not into locking myself into something and not giving any wiggle room to personal growth and the grace of God.

I have a friend who has the tagline on her blog: "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day." I love it. And I'm choosing to adopt it as my personal motto in an effort to override my tendency toward melancholy moods.

Tuesday's Good Things:

1. My Daniel Bible Study ladies. Best two hours of my day.

2. The two guys on Jeopardy! who frantically clicked their "buttons" with such ferocity and gesticulation that it was hilariously ridiculous.

3. Vegging out on the couch with Aaron watching LOST.

Wednesday's Good Things (so far):

1. Skipping Karis's swimming lesson because I simply cannot endure 30 minutes of screaming, temper tantrum/wrestling match.

2. Instead, going to Meijer and finding a cute hoodie on clearance. (Yeah, I bought clothes at Meijer. Don't judge me.)

Here's hoping for more "good things" to add to my list today!

See you sometime next week...maybe

2010-03-21T16:20:00.001-04:00

Life =
-Friday & Saturday: Grand Rapids working in the office of Fine Arts Festival
-Sunday: Church, Department Director Meeting, prepare for week
-Monday: drop Kayla off at school, Grocery shop, baby sitter, doctor appointment, pick up kids, dinner, swimming lesson for Kayla
-Tuesday: drop Kayla off at school, lead Bible study, meeting with a department director; work on ministry stuff, pick Karis up from sitter, pick Kayla up from school
-Wednesday: drop Kayla off at school, swimming lesson for Karis, work on Hillcrest Mission Trip stuff, pick up Kayla, dinner, church
-Thursday: "Muffins with Mom" at Kayla's school, pick Kayla up from school, baby sitter, sectional council business meeting and banquet ....

Eh...you don't really care...do you?

When does the "stay-at-home" part of stay-at-home-mom kick in?

I need a nap.

Mmmmmm.....pizza.....ggglaaarghhh (drooling-Homer Simson-with-tongue-lolling-out-of-his-mouth-noise)

2010-03-12T10:23:00.001-05:00

So far this school year, at least 20 unique fundraiser opportunities have been sent home with Kayla.

And with every opportunity, Aaron's ire has intensified. He hates fundraisers. With every one comes a crazy diatribe involving words and phrases like "pay taxes," "public school system," "racket," and "highway robbery" - just to name a few.

I then need to calm him down with words such as "economic climate," "insufficient funding," "inordinately large class sizes," etc.

Yesterday, a form for Little Caesars Pizza Kits was discovered in Kayla's "blue folder." I left it on the kitchen table but said nothing to my husband because I wasn't in the mood to hear the rant.

Later that evening, after the kids had been tucked into bed, I realized that Aaron had been silent for an uncharacteristically long time. I glanced over to the couch where he was seated and saw him intensely studying the pizza kit order form and brochure.

"What's going on over there?" I asked.

"Well...based on the cost of these...we could order several and it would be cheaper than...blah...blah...blah...." he began listing the pros of ordering many pizza kits from the fundraiser.

"Are you kidding? You do realize that is one of Kayla's fundraisers, don't you?" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, but I really love pizza."

I am regularly astonished at what can cause such a principled man to fall.

Rrrrolll up the rim to win...

2010-03-05T09:15:00.001-05:00

I have a serious Tim Horton's addiction. In all of the years that I've suffered this affliction, I've never won ANYTHING during the Roll Up the Rim contest.

Until Tuesday.

Before MOPS, I went through the drive-thru to get my fix. After I finished my coffee and then furiously used my bottom teeth to roll that blasted rim up. If you've ever participated in this contest, then I am certain you know to which teeth unrolling technique I'm referring.

Lo and behold, I won a free medium coffee. Yay, me!

So, the next day, on my way out to run some errands, I stopped at another Timmy H's drive thru to get my free fix.

But since I had never won before, I wasn't sure how to proceed. Do I give them the entire cup? Just the part I unrolled with my teeth? Do I tell them at the speaker? Or do I simply present it at the window?

(These are the types of questions that torment my brain with regularity in nearly all everyday circumstances that require human interaction outside of my home. I am one tragedy away from agoraphobia. )

Anyway, my normal modus operandi would be to just forget the whole ordeal and pay the buck forty for the stupid thing as to avoid any awkward social interaction.

Not this time. I am committed to personal growth in the area of my social anxiety!

Prior to leaving the house, I had placed the entire cup into a ziploc baggie so that the employee wouldn't have to come in contact with my leftover coffee and saliva. How thoughtful of me!

Then, I ordered my coffee at the speaker- medium with double cream. I then pulled forward to the window where I proceeded to have the following conversation:

ME: I won a free coffee in the Roll Up the Rim contest...(insecurely holding up the cup in a baggie for the employee to see).

HIM: Just tear off the rim and hand it to me.

ME: (removing it from the bag, tearing off the piece I had pried up with my teeth and handing it to him...slightly horrified that he was okay with taking the portion that had been in my mouth with his naked hand.) Sorry...this is my first time winning anything in this contest and I wasn't sure what to do...

HIM: (with exuberant sincerity handing me my hard earned coffee) Well, congratulations!!! You have a great day.

As I drove away, I realized that my interaction/conversation with the employee was something my mother-in-law would have done. I was simultaneously amused and horrified.

A letter from a disgruntled city resident

2010-03-02T13:28:00.000-05:00

Dear City of Warren,

Your online registration for parks and rec events is extremely frustrating.

I do things online so I don't have to have actual human interaction. I do not want to call your office to "add a household member to my account."

That's why the internet exists - to avoid actually talking to someone. Therefore, I am able to avoid having parks and rec staffers insist that I spelled my last name incorrectly and even after having a 5 minute conversation about how "Yes, H-L...there's no A between the H and the L. No- V. As in Vermin. Not B. V. As in Victor. Or Vermin. Or Vermouth...Yes. It's Bohemian. Yes, old Czechoslovakia. What part? I don't know, I married into the family..."

And then still having it show up wrong on the account.

Or better yet, her thinking that my youngest daughter's name is "Carrots."

You have no idea how often this happens, City of Warren. Don't take it personally. Its just been 11 long years of being married to a man with a weird last name and then making poor choices in naming my own children.

"J-A-I-M-E. Yes...that's correct...no, no...Not J-A-M-I-E....That's right A-I-M...yes. Think of it this way - 'Aim between the J and the E'."

Sincerely,
Jaime Hlavin
Mother of Carrots Hlavin

A History of My Fainting Episodes

2010-02-23T13:28:00.000-05:00

I always know its coming. My ears start ringing loudly and I begin seeing stars. I break out in a very cold sweat. Its like the whole world just fades right out. And then I black out for about 30 seconds. Because it has happened so often, I generally know how much time I have to get to a less conspicuous place for it to work itself out.

The first time was when I was 13. My doctor thought I had mono. My mom took me to the clinic on 10 Mile & Hayes. During the blood draw, my mother said my face drained of all color (if that's even possible) and then I turned green. My eyes proceeded to roll back into my head and I was out. This would begin a long relationship with me and fainting.

Fall 1990: After having my wisdom teeth extracted, I was attempting to brush my teeth at the bathroom sink. I began to see stars and managed to stumble into the doorway of my bedroom where I passed out, hit my head on the wall and landed in a fetal position. My mother thought it was hilarious.

Summer 1991: Antihistamines taken for my severe summer allergies caused me to faint every time I went from a sitting to a standing position. My mom didn't think that was too funny.

Fall 1999: I passed out in the hallway on the way to the break room at work for no apparent reason. It was my first week on the job...I was humiliated. I later threw up as well. I had only been married for a couple of months and was terrified that I was pregnant. Needless to say, I was not.

Winter 2000: A high fever from the flu caused me to pass out every time I tried to stand up. Aaron was in Traverse City. I had to call my mommy to come rescue me.

Summer 2001: I fainted at my desk at work for no apparent reason. Again, humiliated.

Spring 2004: During our child birthing class while watching the instructor attempt to jam a "newborn" doll through a plastic pelvis, I fainted. I leaned my head on Aaron's shoulder and waited for it to pass. I had eaten sour cream and onion potato chips during the class break and apparently assaulted Aaron with my breath for the 30 seconds I was out.

Summer 2007: I passed out three times in the waiting room at the obstetrician's while awaiting my glucose tolerance test when pregnant with my second child. That was fun and exciting. When I told the tech was happening, her reply was, "That's why we make you stay here for the hour." Not "Come lie down." Or "Are you okay?" But, "That's why we make you stay here for the hour."

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31 KJV

Apparently, I need to wait on the Lord a little more.

Takin' a break from giving away books....

2010-02-23T13:26:00.000-05:00

...because I haven't even shipped the two I gave away last time. Awesome.

Last week's Fearless winner is Joanne (she Facebooked her comment).

I'll send yours eventually, Genevieve! I promise.

I've got something else up my sleeve for later. Stay tuned.

Is it too much to ask to go to the bathroom in peace?

2010-02-17T09:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my youngest busted in on me as I was using the restroom.

"Karis, can you please give me a little space?" I sighed exasperatedly.

"Okay," she said and turned to leave the room shutting the door behind her.

"Well that was easier than I expected," I thought.

Not two seconds later she returned holding out her chubby little hand as if she were handing me an imaginary item.

"Here go," she said.

"What are you giving me," I asked.

"Here go. It space," she declared, handed me the imaginary "space" I had asked for and then left the room.

I laughed. But I still can't wait until I can use the bathroom alone again.

Are you afraid of the dark?

2010-02-15T18:17:00.001-05:00

This week I'm giving away Max Lucado's Fearless. In it, he addresses issues that many of us struggle with:

• fear of not mattering
• fear of disappointing God
• fear of not protecting our children
• fear of worst cast scenarios
• fear of violence
• fear of life's final moments
• fear that God is not real
• fear of global calamity

It was a good, inspirational read. Comment on this post to enter the drawing by Friday, February 19.

Here's a little something anecdotal from my life in regards to fear.

When I was 14, my Saturday nights generally consisted of babysitting my cousins Becky and Bethanie while my aunt and uncle bowled. After the girls would go to bed, I'd settle in for episodes of that old Nickelodeon show and scare myself half out of my mind. And the show wasn't even really that scary.

(I have an extremely overactive imagination and still tend to freak myself out from time to time because I still like to watch weird, sci-fi, supernatural, mystery type stuff.)

However, for the most part, as an adult I don't struggle with overwhelming worry and fear, like many people do. But that wasn't always the case - its a pretty recent development that transpired a little over a year ago.

During the days and hours leading up to my mother's death, I was gripped with a nearly debilitating fear of being at her bedside at the moment of her departure.

Anxiety attacks wracked my chest as I recalled conversations I'd had with her years before when she would recount the moment of her own mother's death and the emotions of doubt and fear that plagued her in the days, weeks and months afterward.

I was terrified of being there when my mom died. And the guilt that consumed me because of that fear was nearly as crippling as the fear itself.

On January 5, 2009 I faced this fear head on while at her home helping care for her during her last days. At one point, she took a very long pause between between her labored gasps for air and I was instantly paralyzed with panic because I thought she had died right then. And then she began breathing again. It was at that moment that I realized I needed to come to grips with this.

When I returned home that evening, after my "shift" ended, I had two Facebook messages from people who had no idea the details of the situation or what I was going through emotionally since I hadn't even told Aaron at that point. Here are excerpts from those messages:

"...I'm actually writing to let you know that I woke up this morning and you were on my mind... I started praying for you even before I got out of bed. And I"m still praying for you, your family & your Mom.

Gen. 15:1b 'God said to Abram, 'Do not be afraid, Abram,
I am your shield, your very great reward.' "

"...my prayer for 2009 is that we all experience peace amidst the circumstances of our lives...whether it be the loss of a loved one, financial stress, health, etc... Daily I find myself praying for a PEACE-filled year. Anyhow...just sending love and concern your way."

God had officially blown my mind. People who had no idea what I was going through encouraged me with laser precision. The fear was gone. I'm not going to lie and say that the hours leading up to her "home-going" were filled with angelic choir songs, because they were anything but that. But the moment that she finally did give up the fight, I was the only one awake in the room and it was peaceful. I was not afraid.

Each day, I am faced with many thoughts and potential worries. They taunt me. They try to make me afraid. But I refuse to give in because I know the God who holds my hand is bigger.

I am fearless.

A nu thang...

2010-02-09T13:48:00.001-05:00

(Yes, I'm intentionally trying to get the old DC Talk song stuck in your head by titling my post as such).

Anyway, I decided to start doing a "book giveaway" on my blog as do many of my friends who write blogs. (That was a weird and awkward sentence...I apologize - I haven't written in a while. My brain is rusty). Whenever I finish a book, I'm never quite sure what to do with it. So, I'm going to begin giving them away.

This week, I'll start with something fun.

Do you like Ted Dekker? I do. A few years ago, he teamed up with Erin Healy and together they wrote Kiss. I loved it. (Then again, Ted Dekker could blow his nose on a napkin and I'd probably buy it.)

Here's an excerpt from the dust jacket:

"Let me tell you all I know for sure. My name.

Shauna.

I woke up in a hospital bed missing six months of my memory....

I believe the medicine is doing strange things to my memory. I'm unsure who I can trust and who I should run from. And I'm starting to remember things I've never known. Things not about me. I think I'm going crazy.

And even worse, I think they want to kill me.

But who? And for what? Is dying for the truth really better than living with a lie?"

Intrigued? Then leave me a comment on my blog (not on Facebook) by Friday, February 12 and I'll enter your name in a random drawing. If you win, I'll contact you via e-mail for your mailing address and send you my copy of the book (hope you don't mind my name written on the inside cover in black Sharpie.)

I hope you like it as much as I did!

Next week's Book Giveaway: Fearless by Max Lucado.

Brain Stew

2010-01-27T10:37:00.002-05:00

So, I'm convinced that I am becoming dumber and dumber as the years go by. My brain used to be like those sticky strips of paper that hung from my Grandma's garage ceiling and information was like the flies that would stick to the strips.

When Aaron and I first got married we'd compete at Jeopardy! every weeknight. And I would nail his sorry rump to the wall! I only lost one time in the entire first year we were married and that was only because there was an entire category called Shaq Attack and at the time, I didn't know much about Shaquille O'Neal.

Recently we started competing again. He has won twice. We've tied twice. And I've won only once by a very narrow margin - and only because it was an episode of....ahem...Celebrity Jeopardy! (I can't believe I'm being this self-disclosing.)

And today, I did it again. On Facebook, for the whole world to see today, I attributed the lyrics of Creep by Stone Temple Pilots to Nirvana. Who does that?

What is wrong with me? Am I not exercising the gray matter enough? I keep up on news and politics. I read a lot - and not just Good Night Moon or its equivalent. I try to write with semi-frequency.

I guess its time to sharpen my pencil and pull out the old crossword puzzles and sudoku books.

Or maybe take a quantum physics class.

Or maybe apply to be on Celebrity Jeopardy!:

Alex Trebek: ...Let's skip "Therapists" and try "Household Objects", for $400. And the answer is, "You usually drink water out of one of these." [ Sean Connery buzzes in ] Sean Connery.

Sean Connery: A leather glove!

Alex Trebek: No. [ Minnie Driver buzzes in ] Minnie Driver.

Minnie Driver: A toilet!

Alex Trebek: That is awful. [ Jeff Goldblum buzzes in ] Jeff Goldblum.

Jeff Goldblum: [ marvels at the buzzer until time runs out ]

Alex Trebek: And you're an idiot! The answer was "a glass."

Sean Connery: Then the day is mine!

Alex Trebek: [ hesitant ] Technically, it's still Mr. Goldblum's board, but since he's a human wasteland, I'll let Mr. Connery pick again.

My little ladies....

2010-01-13T11:56:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year

2010-01-11T04:41:00.000-05:00

My New Year officially starts today. January 11, 2010. The day AFTER the one year anniversary of my mother's passing.

2009 could overall be categorized as a really good year in my life if it had not played against the backdrop of losing her. My normal routine has coalesced with crying myself to sleep countless nights, regularly picking up the phone to tell Mom that Karis started walking and talking or about Kayla's first day of Kindergarten and then remembering that she's gone, feeling ripped off, angry and jealous when I see a woman my age out to lunch or shopping with her young children and her own mother, and all the while wondering if I'm losing my mind. Is it normal to feel loss this deeply? Why am I having such a hard time when there other people who have experienced far worse and seem to be sane and happy? And then putting on a smiley face for the rest of the world and feeling like a huge fraud and failure the entire time. I logically know the answers to these questions (i.e "I'm not crazy," "I don't know what goes on in the minds of others," "I'm not a fraud, its necessary to move on with life," etc.) ...but my heart feels otherwise.

I have gone through all of my "firsts" without her and I feel I've established new normal patterns. And through the sadness, I have seen rays of hope and encouragement. I know God's arm has not lost its power. This has been demonstrated to me time and time again by wonderful, kind, thoughtful friends have reached out to me during really rough times - sent me notes, written beautiful e-mails and given me the fuzzy, slipper socks for Christmas that I normally would have received in my stocking from Mom.

Today is my January 1st. I'm ready to start fresh and with renewed purpose. I am prepared to walk in the paths God has ordained for me in 2010. I will remember my mom and talk about her without crying as much (this has been the part that has annoyed me the most because I HATE crying in front of people because I know it makes them uncomfortable - and I do that A LOT). I will honor her memory by living my life to the fullest. I'm not naive enough to think that a "magic grief switch" has flipped to the OFF position on this day and everything is going to be puppies and daisies. I know I'm still going to be bummed and I'm going to still miss her like crazy. But I intend to live more resolutely and less reactively.

Okay. Now, I'm standing in my basement pouring what remains of my cold coffee onto the floor...pourin' one out for my dead Mommy. Here's hoping that amused you as much as it amused me.

Happy New Year.

The day Kayla was born

Not sure what was going on here, but it epitomizes the way Aaron would torment my mother...

The day Karis was born

Celebrating Kayla's 4th Birthday "Fancy Nancy"-style...

Bathing Karis has never been a light task...

Grandma and her girls

Two months before she passed: my mom, me and Sister Dorothy Stotts. Sister Stotts was Mom's very first pastor's wife and mentor...this was at my church's women's Christmas dinner where I was the keynote speaker - the first and only time my mom heard me speak as a pastor's wife...

Kayla's famous!

2010-01-10T18:36:00.001-05:00

Well....not really...but I thought this was pretty cool. Here's the link to the photographers' blog who did Rachel and James Spaetzel's (dear friends of our family) wedding in which Kayla was the flower girl...she's mentioned several times.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

2009-12-16T12:08:00.000-05:00

A couple of years ago I wrote this and I'm feeling moved to revisit the concept.

So here you go...the 2009 Edition of Jaime's Favorite Things.

This year, I discovered Method Eucalyptus Mint Bathroom Cleaning Products at Target. I could just leave it at that because anything found at Target is worth it's weight in gold. But, of course, I won't just leave it at that. Because I can't. I'm not good at leaving well enough alone. I LOVE these bathroom cleaners. Aside from working very well and being priced reasonably, the smell takes me back to my grandmother's bathroom during my early childhood. Although I'm confused as to why the smell of my grandmother's bathroom has such a profound nostalgic bond in my psyche. Anyway. And the products are eco-friendly.

My epidermis is showing. And it's not pretty. Dermatitis afflicted and keratosis pilaris tormented, I've recently started using Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion. It is glorious. Ahhhhhh-veeno.

In 2009, I said good-bye to big, frizzy hair...for the most part. I've searched the world over (not really) and have had little success finding much that could make my hair less large. But I found something that works fairly well in Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine Anti-Frizz Serum. And it smells so good that every time I do my hair, I have to remind myself that this product is not suitable for human consumption.

Back in 1996, I discovered Wet n Wild Lipliner Pencil 666. I stopped using it when it was no longer cool to line your lips in a dark color and fill them in with a near non-existent, pinkish shade. But I've recently started using it again (in a much subtler way than I did a decade and a half ago). The beauty of this particular shade is that it looks different on every type of complexion and face and yet is flattering to every face and complexion (make up artists agree...I googled it). Who said the Number of the Beast was all that bad, anyway? (Just kidding...please don't jump down my throat for that).

Another 2009 product discovery made me want to eat my children after bathing them with Johnson's Vanilla Oatmeal Baby Wash. It is so delicious. I even use it on my 5 year old and sometimes myself.

I used to give Kayla a bath every morning. Then I decided to stop making my life a living nightmare and do it before bed. However, Kayla tends to sweat a bit at night and her hair would lose that freshly washed smell by morning. That is until I started using Suave Kids 2-in-1 Smoothers Mango Orange. This stuff is awesome. It cuts through the "sweaty-little-kid-smell" like gangbusters. (I'm not sure what "gangbusters" are but I've always wanted to use that word and it seemed appropriate here).

Apparently I've passed down some type of generational curse to my daughters in the way of sensitive skin. During the winter months they both suffer with dry, itchy eczema. Aveeno Baby Soothing Relief Moisturizer is extremely helpful and makes it so I'm not constantly lathering them in prescription strength hydrocortisone.

In November, I decided to join the Godiva Chocolate Rewards Club at Lakeside Mall. It's free to join and you get a free piece of candy each month. All you have to do is give them your phone number. When I gave the lovely clerk my digits, I learned that my husband had joined back in June and never told me! We had words that day.

Hope you're having a terrific Christmas Season and focusing on the things that really matter...and my list of favorite things, of course.

News from the Laugh Floor....

2009-12-07T12:14:00.000-05:00

Aaron is forever messing up movie quotes, using the wrong names, making up characters that don't exist, etc. For someone whose mind clings to meaningless movie details, this is extremely frustrating. That "someone" is me. It is truly a gift that has been bestowed upon the Hatton children. My mother would claim that it was genetic and came from her...but in all honesty, she was worse than Aaron.

So, last week, Kayla awoke in the middle of the night from a bad dream. A monster came out of her closet, of course. We comforted her and sent her back to bed making sure nothing was in the closet.

The next day, while we stood at the bathroom sink brushing our teeth, Aaron asked what caused her bad dream. I told him that the mean monster from Monsters, Inc. came out of her closet.

With a sympathetic nod, and a knowing tone of voice, he confirmed, "Lenny."

I stopped mid-brush stroke and looked at him in utter disgust.

"That's not his name, is it? Who's Lenny?!" he said sheepishly.

"I have no idea, Aaron. It's RANDALL. Seriously. There's something wrong with you."

Uncomfortable in my skin...

2009-11-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

I have really sensitive skin.

In fact, this year, I've developed some kind of allergic reaction to my wedding ring.

If I wear it, I get a really itchy, ugly, red, bumpy rash around my finger. It clears up within a few days of removing the ring. I've cleaned the ring very well and still no relief. So for those of you who have noticed that I haven't been wearing my ring, there's no trouble in paradise. I'm just suddenly allergic to it. I looked it up and apparently its not abnormal for body chemistry to change with age and skin reactions to occur when in contact with various metals -gold included. Ugh.

Several months ago, I switched laundry detergents because 3 for the price of 1 Dynamo at Meijer was significantly cheaper than "All: Free and Clear." However, the dermatitis I'm suffering from on all parts of my body that come in contact with clothing is telling me that cheaper isn't necessarily better. Even my head itches because I lay on pillow cases washed in Dynamo. I'm pretty sure that after this week of laundry all my clothes will finally be washed in All and maybe my skin will clear up and I can stop scratching.

I have, however, had one pleasant skin related incident occur within the past months. I recently started using Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion and it has made a world of difference on my arms (I have keratosis pilaris-don't Google it, because the pictures are the absolute WORST CASE SCENARIOS - which I do not have).

The sensitivity of my skin is a constant reminder that it's crucial to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading in my life and sensitive to the needs of others while at the same time maintaining a necessary level of "thick-skinned-ness" (i.e. not taking someone else's rotten mood personally or not taking offense at another's harmless, albeit thoughtless, joke).

I hope everyone's turkey turns out perfect - with a nice, brown, crispy skin. I'm just hoping mine thaws in time. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

You guys all been good and practicin' real hard...so Santa'll bring you a new saxophone?

2009-11-12T14:20:00.000-05:00

Last night on the way to church, a particular version of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" came on the radio...for the 53rd time that day.

Halfway through the song, Kayla declared, "I don't like this song!"

"Why not?" I asked.

"What does this guy think? That he's the boss or something?"

"Why do you ask that?" I was completely unable to stifle my hysterical laughter.

"Because he's all bossin' people around! 'Ya better watch out! Ya better not cry!' Its like he thinks he's The Boss or something!"

She still doesn't understand why I thought she was so funny.

Santa Claus Is Coming to Town (Radio Version) - Bruce Springsteen

Brain Dump Tuesday

2009-11-10T13:31:00.000-05:00

I have a confession.

I think Aaron is really funny. For whatever reason, I feel like its necessary to act like I don't, but I really do! I constantly laugh at his ridiculousness.

A lot of people who attend our church think he's really funny in his messages on Sundays. But that's not even the really funny stuff. In fact, I think his "pulpit jokes" are usually pretty lame. Its the insane stuff that makes me laugh so hard I cry.

For example, Karis got this for her birthday:

And do you have any idea the type of nonsense he's recorded on that thing? Right now, I won't let the kids play with it because I'm afraid they'll delete what is on it. (In case you're dying to know, its him singing in a really eery voice, "I love chicken popcorn..." which I'm not even sure what that means, but its hilarious! I'm laughing right now as I type this).

After reading what I just wrote, maybe he's not that funny. Maybe I just have a really weird sense of humor and he's learned how to cater to it over the years.

Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm pretty sure what that's it.

***

As you may have heard, Kayla hates Gym Class for two reasons:
1.) She hates doing "gym stuff" (her words) because she's not good at it
2.) She has gotten numerous "time-outs" for talking while she's supposed to be doing "gym stuff"

She has begged me to allow her to stay home on Tuesdays - Gym Day.

Incidentally, the entire Warren Consolidate School District had last Tuesday off due to elections. Kayla declared that it was an answer to her prayers. (Great. What do I do with that?)

This week she wanted to "take Tuesday as a vacation day." Awesome. When I said no, she later on tried to trick me by listing all the outfits she wanted to wear this week - Tuesday's being a dress, leggings and her suede boots. I almost agreed before I realized she was trying to get out of gym by "forgetting" her tennis shoes!

Well, last night, she gave herself a doozy of a bloody nose. I'm not making this up: She kneed herself in the nose. Yes. Her knee made heavy impact at a high velocity with her nose.

Anyway, when she awoke this morning, the nose was gushing again. It took me a while to get it to stop. Then I said to her, "Be careful today in gym so your nose doesn't start bleeding again."

Her reply was, "Maybe you should just let me stay home or write me a note to get out of gym."

She's really working every angle of this. I started to think she kneed herself in the nose on purpose. But then quickly realized that it was a fairly athletic feat that she'd performed and just knew it must have been an accident due to her her skill level in "gym stuff."

***

And finally, I think I've spent a lot of time this afternoon making a pot of soup for dinner that no one is going to like. It was kind of something I made up as I went.

Every time I've ever done that its been a monumental failure. When am I going to learn that I am not my mother and that I've disappointed her in so many ways (for proof, click here) ? She's in heaven shaking her head at me in disgust as I type this...

I'd better go now...my hideous soup is probably boiling over...like that would be such a crisis.

All Saints Day...

2009-11-02T16:25:00.000-05:00

Dear Karis,

You turned 2 years old yesterday. When you woke us up by yelling "MA! MA! MA!" at the top of your lungs, we decided to come into your room and serenade you with Happy Birthday. Your response was an ear-splitting scream followed by jumping up & down in your crib yelling "DOP IT!!! DOP IT!!!" (Stop it! Stop it!)

You are quite the force of nature...and we wouldn't have it any other way. Your intense drive to squeeze every last drop out of every second out of every ounce of the day delights us, exhausts us, makes us laugh and frightens us all at the same time. I've been told that its our job to help you channel all of that into something productive someday.

We're excited that you're able to communicate with us in English now - without "Ma" as the interpreter. Daddy's favorite thing to make you say is "Apple Cider"... it IS pretty, stinkin' adorable. And you're really starting to follow directions now - when they are phrased "positively." "Karis, please go get me those socks..." and you obediently trot over to retrieve the socks.

However, if I were to say, "Karis, please do not stick that fork into the light socket..." you would giggle maniacally and run faster toward the thing that could end your life. And then if I begin the "1...2...3..." countdown that ends in dire consequences, you think its hilarious to finish counting for me and run like the devil away from me.

But we'll get that figured out eventually. Right?

Karis Layne, every day with you is an exciting adventure filled with lots of noise and laughter. A lady at church summed it up pretty accurately at the Fall Festival this weekend (where we had you dressed as Chewbacca - your sister was Princess Leia) when she heard you squealing with laughter in the Bounce House when she said that your laugh is "infectious." I couldn't agree more. People can't help but smile when you are around.

We love you so much and are so proud that you are the little Boo Bear that completes our family. Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mommy

Better than Yu Gi Oh...

2009-10-27T13:48:00.000-04:00

So, we downloaded the Jesus is My Superhero Hillsong Kids album...and of course Kayla wants to hear one song over and over and over and over again whenever we're in the van.

And that song is the title track. Its cute and catchy and makes us dance. Yes, I dance in my van with the girls when this song is on. We rock out.

Here are the lyrics (I was going to just post a link to the site that had the lyrics, but there were all these ads for tooth whitening products and the pictures of yellow teeth and close ups of bacteria were kind of gross, so I just copied and pasted the lyrics in their entirety - sorry):

He's the one who makes the sun shine
He's the one who that puts the moon in the sky
He's the one who hung the stars
One by one

He's the one who makes the birds sing
He's the one who makes your dreams so high
He's the one who makes me smile
Day by day

Jesus you're my superhero
You're my star, my best friend
Jesus you're my superhero
You're my star, my best friend

Better than Spiderman
Better than Superman
Better than Batman
Better than anyone

refrain

Better than Yu Gi Yo
Better than Barbie
Better than Action Man
Better than anyone

If you've heard the song, you know that the "better than..." parts are basically the singers yelling that portion into the microphone - with very strong Australian accents, I might add. (And by the way, I think Australian accents and New Zealand accents are probably two of the coolest accents in the world.)

Anyway, the first time I heard the song, I kept thinking to myself, "Who is this Bobby they keeping talking about? 'Better than Bobby...' Must be some Australian cartoon or something I've never heard of..."

I asked Kayla if she knew who Bobby was. She enlightened me that it was, in fact, not Bobby, but Barbie. "Better than Barbie..." Ooooohhhh....like "throw another shrimp on the bobby (barbie)..."

That's kind of legit that I'd hear that incorrectly, right? (Please validate me.)

Later that day, the whole family was in the car listening to the song, yet again. One of the "better than..." shout-outs played and Aaron got a really weird look on his face. "What did that guy say?"

"Better than Batman," I replied.

"Oh, I thought he said 'Phil the Fat Man.'"

Here's the video

Dripping Orifices

2009-10-23T11:20:00.000-04:00

For some reason, Kayla is having a really rough time over Aaron being out of town. Its not that uncommon for him to travel out of town for several days at a time for conferences, speaking engagements, missions trips, etc. This time its a family wedding.

Normally Kayla is out of her mind with excitement because when he's gone she gets to sleep in my bed. This time though, there has been much weeping. And by much, I mean "what-in-the-world-seriously-can-you-get-a-grip-child" much. Of course I don't say that out loud. Thank God for inner monologues.

Anyway, the crying and nose blowing combined with the change in the season and the aridness of our home once the furnace comes on, has cause Kayla's nose to bleed several times over the past few days. She woke up last night at 2 a.m. with a gusher. We're fairly used to this because she gets them pretty regularly. Always when the seasons are changing. Always when there's been any nasal congestion. Always when a lot of crying has transpired. Always during allergy season. Always the same nostril - the right one.

I used to get them as well when I was her age, so I'm not alarmed. And I've talked with her pediatrician about it. She's not alarmed. Although she did seem concerned when I asked if it was possible that Kayla had been abducted by aliens and had a device implanted into her nose. No, I didn't really ask that. But Agent Mulder would have.

Well, I got a call from the school today because she had one and they couldn't get it to stop. So I packed up Karis and headed out into the torrential downpour to stop the bleeding. Which I did, with ease. I'm really good at it. The key is to tip the head forward and pinch very firmly. VERY firmly. Almost too hard. Kayla and I usually get into a big fight while this is happening:

ME: Tip your head down.
HER: Ouch! Stop! You're pinching it too hard!
ME: I have to in order for it to stop bleeding!
HER: MOM-my!! It hurts! (tears start to well up)
ME: Don't cry! It'll only make the bleeding worse!
HER: I HAVE TO CRY! You're hurting me!
ME: Knock it off or you'll bleed to death! Is that what you want? To bleed to death from a bloody nose!
HER: Mommy, that's not funny! Don't say that!
ME: Who's trying to be funny! It's 2 o'clock in the morning...I'm in no mood for funny. I'm not even sure if I'm conscious....

And by that time, the bleeding will have stopped.

Luckily, that conversation didn't transpire at the school. She was very brave and let me pinch as hard I needed to and there were no tears. I asked if she wanted to come home for the day and the reply was, "Are you kidding? Today is Friday Frenzy! We get ice cream today!"

Ice cream trumps all bloody nose-related sympathy for today. We'll see about next time.

Fall Pictoral

2009-10-17T14:59:00.001-04:00

Last weekend's 2nd Annual Hlavin Pumpkin Carving Extravaganza

This weekend's trip to Yate's Cider Mile

Shameless self-promotion

2009-10-15T09:24:00.000-04:00

I don't normally use this forum to promote the church where my husband is the Lead Pastor, but today I'm going to simply because I have this growing sense of excitement and anticipation for what the future holds. I promise that I will return to my usual mundane, domestic engineering, self-absorption at a later date. But today" WOOHOO Freedom Christian!"

Aaron and I have been on staff at this church for over a decade now - initially as youth pastors (some of the best years of my life), senior associate and now Lead Pastor (aka head honcho).

Freedom Christian holds a long tradition marked by health and unity. Generally, our seats have been filled with people who have come seeking solace from hurtful situations. And within the walls, they've discovered the healing touch of God emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In May of 2008, our former senior pastor of 25 years accepted a position with the District Office. Shortly after that, Aaron and I were considered for candidacy and went through the set forth process of board interview, question-and-answer sessions, etc. That lasted several months before it was brought to a vote in a special business session.

And while the people of our church may have noticed some initial aesthetic and superficial changes, huge changes were taking place in our hearts as God developed and worked out a renewed sense of direction and vision for our church.

We do not by any means plan to abandon the foundation and health that exists, but plan to build upon it what God has directed. In November, Aaron will be launching our reimagine church series. I can't wait. I feel like its contagious and is beginning to leak out, so to speak.

On a personal note, here are some things that I love/have loved/am loving about our church this year:
Engage Women's Ministry is going well: our events have been fun, unique & exciting; our Bible study on the Book of Hebrews is encouraging and challenging as well as the other Life Groups that are taking place; the monthly e-newsletter has gotten good feedback; our Christmas GLOW event is shaping up to be stellar
MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) has caught hold of a vision that extends beyond the walls of our church
The Connection Center (coffee cafe) is in process (I love me some coffee)
all.access youth is off the chain - Pastor Don and Jamie continue to blow my mind and the addition of Pastor Chris and Jenelle to focus on j-high and college is so exciting!
Children's ministry is on the cusp of revamp as well...
The Children's Fall Festival for October 31st should be amazing! Live animals, yo. (And not to mention my children dressed as Princess Leia and Chewbacca - you decide who is who).
Operation Christmas Child - we just took our kids shopping and filled two shoe boxes and prayed and cried when we realized that Kayla is really moved by this experience.
Marriage Ministry hosted some fun events for couples (the road rally last year-that we dominated by the way; retreats, movie/date nights; Life Groups).

And the list could go on and on...that was just to name a few. If I didn't mention a ministry/department that any of my dear readers may personally lead, its not that your efforts and service go unnoticed - it's that this entry is way long!

If you are not currently connected to a church family and want to visit us, we'd love to have you! Our service times, location, etc. can be found on our website.

But if you're already at a church, stay there and serve and be blessed. :)

freedomchristian
connect...grow...serve

...details about my mundane life to follow in later posts.....

And to top it all off, my hair looks really dumb today...

2009-10-08T12:18:00.000-04:00

Dear Thursday Morning,

This is how I feel about you:

But I guess you're not entirely to blame...I can blame it partly on Wednesday Night as well. Or Roseola. Or lost brain cells. Or President Bush. Or pretty much anything else I can think of that shifts focus from any responsibility I need to take in it.

So here it is Thursday, you're off the hook.

1. For the fact that I hit snooze 3 times and did not get up until 7 a.m. and therefore beginning our morning at a frantic pace, I will blame Wednesday night. Wednesday night made me stay at the church until too late, and then fight bedtime & wake-up battles of epic proportions.

2. For the fact that Karis angrily threw a bowl of yogurt across the kitchen at 8:05 a.m. and commenced temper tantrum #2 of the morning thus causing us to run a little later, I will blame Roseola for afflicting her last weekend and making her think that its okay to be so miserably crabby.

3. For the fact that I forgot to put Kayla's lunch box into her back pack and thus had to bring it to her later and as a result snapped at my husband to "hurry up and get ready for our appointment", I blame lost brain cells.

4. And then for the sheer humiliation suffered at the hands of Thrower of Temper Tantrum #5 during our lunch appointment...heck...I'll blame "W" for that. Why not?

There, Thursday, don't you feel better now?

Love,
Jaime

Gratiot Ave. circa 1992...er...I mean 2009....

2009-10-07T14:01:00.000-04:00

Today I took the "long way" to my dad's house- the home in which I spent the first 21 years of my life. (The "long way" means that I did not drive I-696, but rather took 12 Mile Rd. to Gratiot Ave.).

It appears that Gratiot from 12 Mile to 10 Mile is frozen in time. It never changes and is quietly comforting to me as I drive down the "drag" where a friend and I, in an effort to console my broken heart, went "cruising" one Saturday night after Aaron dumped me the first time. (Yes, I said the "first time." There were several times. We were very young and very childish and very insecure.) The evening consisted of her driving up and down Gratiot blaring Mr. Big's To Be With You on the tape deck and me crying in the passenger seat. Needless to say, we didn't meet anyone interesting that night.

I can't believe Gonzo's is still there and that apparently, he's still airbrushing sweatshirts for high schools. Ah yes. It's 1992 again...the Powder Puff Football sweatshirts, the Tennis sweatshirts and T-shirts...the list could go on and on.

And then there is the tropical fish store, Oceans and Seas, with the incorrectly placed apostrophe on a professionally made sign. How sad.

Well, I'll talk to you later...I need to go see if my Get USED jeans still fit and if I can find an aerosol can of Rave Hairspray.

The fabric of our lives...

2009-09-30T09:51:00.002-04:00

I'm sitting at my computer with this blanket draped over my lap.

It is a birthday gift from my my sister-in-law and brother. While this blanket has just entered my life, it holds great significance. Laura wrote this to go along with the blanket:

This is the story of how your blanket came to be...

[First, dear reader, we must journey back in time]

Traveling back, we find Sue Hatton walking down the aisles of one of her favorite places - JoAnn's Fabric & Craft Store. An incredibly talented and crafty lady, Sue is scouring the aisles, looking for the next tools she will wield to create her next handmade wonder. Having taken a detour from fabrics, Sue wanders down the yarn aisle. She is immediately filled with overwhelming awe one only gets from walking down aisle after aisle of multicolored yarn. The colors! The textures! Picking up a dusty purple yarn, thoughts of her daughter fill her head. Purple is her daughter's favorite color...

[Flash forward]

When going through a bag of yarn that was her mother-in-law's, Laura stumbles across several skeins of the softest purple yarn. Immediately, she knows this yarn had a purpose; this yarn was meant for Jaime. As thoughts of her sister-in-law fill her mind, the project gears start turning. A magazine of crochet patterns is purchased. A design is chosen. More colors are needed! Trips to the store for more yarn are made. The crochet hooks start flying...and, Voila! Your blanket is born!

Just as our lives are a tapestry woven from the threads of those who love and care for us, so is your blanket. Here's the breakdown:

The purple, navy and rainbow (edging) yarns were purchased by your mother

The teal and green yarns, as well as the actual making of the blanket, were contributed by your sister-in-law.

The final layout was decided by your brother.

I hope this blanket not only brings you years of warmth, but also reminds you of how much you are loved.

Until we meet again...

2009-09-30T09:32:00.000-04:00

Two years ago, an amazing family walked through the doors of Freedom Christian.

They had just moved to the United States from Queretaro, Mexico as a result of a job transfer. Leaving behind their family and loved ones, Erick, Ana and their infant son, David became an integral part of our lives personally and of our church.

This weekend, Erick's job is taking him back home to Mexico. The seven of us (our family and theirs) spent yesterday evening eating, talking, drinking girly coffee drinks, laughing and crying.

Erick, Ana and David, you have impacted our lives more than you'll ever know. We are happy for you as you go on this part of your lives' journey, but we sure are going to miss you. I stole this picture from Ana's facebook profile because she wasn't happy that I took a picture of her last night - she thought she looked tired. In actuality, she looked beautiful. But I don't want her mad at me. :)

Testing...1...2...3. Is this thing on?

2009-09-23T13:05:00.001-04:00

Yeah. Sorry. It's been like, what, 10 days or something?

This "getting back into the swing of things" has kind of eaten into my blogging time.

"Oh...c'mon! You're a stay-at-home mom and 1/2 of your children are away at school all day! Get off the couch! Stop watching the SyFy Channel and blog already!" You might be saying.

(By the way, is it not so cool that the Sci-Fi channel is now SyFy? I love it.)

I'm finding myself busy from 6:30 a.m. until well after the girls' bedtime. And at first I couldn't figure out if I was even doing anything productive. So I stopped and made a list. Aaahhhhhh....list-making. (Make sure you say that like Homer Simpson complete with your head plopped back and your tongue lolling out of your mouth sideways).

Don't worry, I won't condescendingly place my list here in some misguided effort to garner sympathy because Lord knows EVERYONE is just as busy or more so. While it was encouraging to realize that I am actually doing things, at the same time it was upsetting to realize the items were not easily "check-offable" meaning they will stay on my To Do list for some time as many of them are extremely ongoing. Poop.

Aaaaahhhhh......checking things off lists.....

√ Put Karis down for a nap
√ Blogged
√ Determined whether or not there was anything else I could check off my list

Ah, firstborns...

2009-09-10T09:14:00.000-04:00

My favorite part about Kayla's Kindergarten career, so far, is that she comes home each day and tells me about all the kids who misbehaved and got their names put in "the red." When I ask her if she stayed in green, she gives me an incredulous look and says, "Of course!" with great arrogance.

I've created a monster.

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships and burned the topless towers of Illium?

2009-09-08T09:11:00.000-04:00

So, I need to take my mind off the fact that I just threw my daughter to the wolves and she'll spend the next twelve years of her life being influenced by individuals over whom I have no control. I'm kidding.

I'm actually doing very well and I am extremely excited for her. I think she'll thrive in her environment. And I'm praying and trusting that God will guide her decisions and footsteps and that she'll be a blessing to someone today and every day.

Anyway, so much for taking my mind off the aforementioned wolf situation.

My husband is doing a series called "My Achilles" (it'll be posted to our website soon). On Sunday, he told a story about his achilles tendon tear back in 2007. I'd like to share my side of the story with you by running a little something I wrote during that timeframe. You'll find it below. Enjoy!

February 15, 2007

I watched the edited-for-TV version of Troy on the Hallmark channel last month. Its the Hollywood adaptation of Homer's The Iliad?

Or as I like to call it: "Ancient Greek Eye Candy." Orlando Bloom as the weak and flawed Paris. Eric Bana as the honorable and courageous Hector. Brad Pitt as the brooding and unstoppable Achilles.

I generally enjoy Brad Pitt not only for his extreme "watchability" on the big screen, but also because I think he's a decent actor. Twelve Monkeys. Se7en. Ocean's Eleven/Twelve. Seven Years in Tibet. (Whoa...I never noticed that--his movies all have numbers in the titles.) Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Legends of the Fall, Meet Joe Black, Interview With the Vampire, Snatch, Fight Club --there, no numbers.

I really liked him as Achilles. He was complex. And beautiful.

There is currently an Achilles-related issue in my life that is definitely complex, but, most importantly, not beautiful.

Aaron partially tore his right Achilles tendon playing basketball on Monday. He's in a cast and on crutches for at least a week, at which time he has another doctor's appointment to see if its healing on his own. Then he'll need to stay in the cast. Conversely, if it is not healing it will probably need to be fixed by surgery.

As most of you know, I'm not a very nurturing person by nature. All of my kind, loving, nurturing capabilities are rapidly consumed by the demands of a two year old each day, so there's not really a whole lot left over for grown men. I'm doing my best, though. I really am.

Aaron knew he was in for quite an ordeal when I drove him downtown to Henry Ford Hospital for an appointment with the orthopaedic doctor at the crack of dawn Tuesday morning (the morning after he injured it while playing basketball).

The key words here are "crack of dawn." We all know what a morning person I am. And I really tried to be happy and upbeat for his sake because I knew he was really worried that he was going to need surgery (he has an extremely busy schedule--surgery could knock him out of the game for a period of time that is not conducive to his normal burn-the-candle-at-both-ends lifestyle).

The happy, upbeatness lasted for about a half hour when the reality of the fact that I was driving through downtown Detroit at 7:00 a.m. hit me. Aaron kindly thanked me for holding out as long as I could before the "crabby" took over. He's so understanding.

I was going to drop him off at the front entrance, but when he realized how easily I get lost...in parking lots....he said he'd rather crutch his way from the parking lot with me out of fear that I'd never make it to our intended destination. Luckily, I found a spot rather close--seeing how no one in the entire area code was even awake, let alone at the hospital. Did I mention that it was the CRACK OF DAWN!

I snagged one of the handy-dandy wheelchairs at the front entrance and proceeded to wheel him through the large, revolving door where I practically amputated his bad foot.

In my defense, 1) I get a little paranoid and clausterphobic when utilizing revolving doors and 2) I've never pushed anyone in a wheelchair before.

We finally made it up to the Orthopaedic wing, mildly unscathed. It was on the 12th floor. Whose idea was that? Most of the people needing orthopaedic care are on crutches, canes or in wheelchairs. Brilliant move, Henry Ford. (On the way up, an EMT, who happened to watch the spectacle I created as I manuevered Aaron into the elevator, offered some advice. He said that its generally easiest to back into an elevator with a wheelchair. Good advice).

Once settled into the waiting room, (which didn't occur until after some difficulty checking him in at the front desk due to the usual confusion over the spelling of our name; H-L, folks...I know its weird, but its really not that hard), Aaron asked me for some money to get a bottled water from the vending machine at the end of the hall.

I really wanted to get a coffee and I only had a few bucks in my purse--enough to pay for parking and a little bit extra. So, I sat silently for about 30 seconds just staring at him, searching for a "valid," non-selfish reason to not give him the money.

"Are you going to answer me?" he asked.

"I'm thinking," I replied.

"About what?? Its a simple question--do you have money for me to get a water?" He was truly confused.

"I'm trying to come up with a lie to tell you so I don't have to tell you the selfish reason I want to keep my money," I confessed...it was way too early for my brain to work deceptively.

"Are you kidding?" he asked in disbelief.

"No...I really want a coffee but I feel selfish because you're in pain and all...."

So, I selflessly relinquished my remaining $2.

At that point, an elderly couple entered the waiting room, which, I might add, was lined with empty chairs. The wife made her way to the reception desk while her husband hobbled his way to an empty chair--directly next to me.

Why?! Its a lot like the unspoken "man law" of the mens restroom. If possible, you never sit directly next to a total stranger. You always leave an empty chair in between. Plus, there was no good reason for him to choose this chair--it wasn't like it was the closest too him or the easiest to get to.

Apparently, my disgust over the invasion of my personal space was written all over my face because I heard Aaron attempt to stifle a laugh, just as he had taken a drink from his newly acquired bottle of water, just barely avoiding a water-spraying catastrophe.

"What?!" I demanded.

"You," he said.

"I didn't say anything," I retorted angrily.

"You didn't have to."

Another reason why Kayla is the coolest...

2009-08-27T19:45:00.001-04:00

While cleaning her room today, I found Insectosaurus (from Monsters vs. Aliens) in this state:

Yes. That is Tinkerbell's dress he's wearing. Apparently the child is on Disney overload. Its a good thing school starts soon.

Back to life, back to reality...

2009-08-16T17:38:00.000-04:00

Our week at General Council followed by a week of vacation is winding down. We had a wonderful time but I'm looking forward to getting back into our routine...as soon as the Heating and Cooling guy comes tomorrow and extracts me from the sweltering temperature of my house. It feels like Orlando in my living room.

Our a/c is not working correctly and it's currently 88 degrees upstairs. That's why we're holed up in the basement where its a good 10-15 degrees cooler.

Anyway, GC09 was amazing! Aaron and I were so blessed to be able to attend the Influence seminar where speakers, including Mark Batterson, Beth Moore, Reggie Joiner and Ed Young Jr., shared insights on leadership. The Council itself was unbelievable as well. National FAF was great - those students who went from our church did well (Go Anna! Go Caleb! Go Diamond!) It was a terrific week.

Then we followed it up with a some Disney Time. We kicked it off with a stroll through Downtown Disney with members of the extended Hlavin family who hail from Florida. Dinner at an amazing restaurant called T-Rex proved to be extremely traumatic for Karis. While I thought it was funny, the more tenderhearted members of the family (Aaron and my father-in-law) didn't find it as amusing.

Over the next several days we packed in swimming at the pool, Cinderella's Royal Table at the Magic Kingdom, a meal at "Emeril's" at the Universal Studios City Walk, Disney's Animal Kingdom, the Spectro Magic Parade and fireworks over Cinderella's castle.

All in all, it couldn't have been a more perfect time away. General Council was refreshing and inspiring...we really enjoyed being ministered to. And our vacation time with our family was ideal. The girls were extremely well-behaved and made the time enjoyable.

I wish I could give you a complete play-by-play of the whole experience, but that would be extremely self-absorbed on my part and extremely tedious and dull for you. So, I'll sum it up with a quote from my daughter Kayla, "All my dreams came true on this vacation!"

Back from vacation...sort of....

2009-08-14T12:52:00.000-04:00

We're technically still taking vacation time...however, we're back from Florida. We had a wonderful time at both General Council and on vacation. To quote Kayla, "All of my dreams came true!" More on that later because I really just want to take a nap while the girls are down. Let's just say the flight home yesterday drained a lot of life from this old girl...an hour delay on the tarmac and lack of circulating air do not bode well with The Snookie Bear.

So, I'm just getting caught up on laundry and blogs and thought I'd leave you with this particularly adorable piece of footage shot from a Chick-Fil-A in Orlando (Karis was excited about the following: going to see Mickey Mouse, tormenting her grandmother by calling her Papa, and referring to her father as Aaron instead of "Daddy"). Don't you wish Michigan had a Chick-Fil-A? I do.

A rainy day update...

2009-07-23T11:22:00.001-04:00

While my pot of rainy day chili is simmering in the crock pot,

I thought I'd give a little review of the last few days.

Yesterday, I dropped the girls off at my mother-in-law's so that I could make a clandestine trip to the Disney Store to buy my daughters' vacation souvenirs in advance. We're doing our first Disney Vacation in a few weeks and I really don't want to have to sell a kidney on the black market in order to afford trip memorabilia when we get down there. So, since they're 5 and nearly 2, they'll never know that I pre-bought their stuff at clearance prices...unless, you, Internet, tell them. So keep your lips zipped. I know who you are.

Here's all the stuff I was able to snag on sale or clearance for a grand total of $76.09, regular prices would have cost me about $150.00.

Here are a couple of close ups of Kayla's haul:

Here's Karis's stuff:

Disney World probably would have cost me my soul. According to the Disney website, Dug would have cost me $39.50 alone.

I owe all that ingenuity to Karen Srvcina. She's the DisneyWorld pro.

The day before that, I made this pie for dessert because my dad was joining us for dinner. I've been eating the leftovers ever since. I should have sent it home with him.

And then of course, from weekend you'll remember The Great Face Book Unwashed Hair Controversy.

Which by the way, this is my hair on an unwashed day...looks pretty decent if I do say so myself, haters:

Sorry I don't have anything more of substance other than this extremely self-absorbed pictorial review!

Have a great day.

Anyone know a good therapist who specializes in phobias????

2009-07-15T09:56:00.000-04:00

Monday, as I was preparing to step into the shower, I glanced up at the ceiling and noticed several "mildew spots" on the ceiling. Disgusted with my poor housekeeping skills, I grabbed a cloth to wipe them off and noticed, oh, about a trillion more all over the place. What?!

I grabbed my glasses a realized that the mildew spots were....wait for it..."MILLIONS" OF BABY SPIDERS!!!!!! NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

God gave me the strength to slaughter them all...but periodically 5-10 more will show up. An egg sac must have hatched somewhere in my bathroom after having been placed there by the mama while we were at camp.

Why is this happening to me??????

Note to self:

2009-06-25T11:36:00.000-04:00

Dear Jaime,

Please remember to wear your glasses in the basement. It will minimize the screaming when one of the "speckles" on the carpet starts to "crawl" at an unnervingly terrifying velocity.

And always remember to keep a spare shoe down there so that aforementioned "speckles" may be bludgeoned to death with shock and awe.

Love,
Jaime

P.S. You are deathly afraid of spiders. Remember that. SEEING them before they kill you is half the battle.

A decade ago...

2009-06-23T15:58:00.001-04:00

Wow...check out the fluidity of the titles of my two recent posts! That was totally unplanned!

As you may or may not know, Aaron and I are quickly approaching the 10 Years of Marriage Milestone. Our wedding anniversary is Friday, June 26.

And as many of you may or may not know, our schedule is very often at the whim of ... well, everything else that could possibly happen. We've been in ministry for 11 years (yes, I worked alongside him during our engagement. I'm gettin' a big crown in heaven for planning a wedding and doing youth ministry simultaneously.) For example, for the first 5 years of our marriage, I spent my birthday on camping trips with 30 teenagers. The next four birthdays were spent alone, because my husband was in another country leading missions trips. Except for my 30th birthday, my awesome friends (you know who you are, ladies) surprised me by taking me to see Smitty at DTE Energy Theatre (or Pine Knob for those of you who are old school enough to know who Smitty is without explanation).

And anniversaries. Well, my anniversary lands right smack in the middle of graduation season so most of my wedding anniversaries were spent at the open houses of the teenagers we ministered to for 7 years. And this year is really no different. With a whole slew of church-related events and various graduation open houses this weekend, the best I had hoped for was a nice card and a Thanks-For-An-Awesome-Decade-Celebratory Slurpee.

But since I am married to pretty much the most unbelievably thoughtful guy on the face of the earth I got a whole lot more.

Sunday night, he told me that I had to be ready to "go" by 3:30 p.m. on Monday.

"Go where?" I don't just "go" on command. I need to know where? Why? How? What should I wear? Do I need to wear make up? What's the demographic climate and socioeconomic make up of the population with which I'll be rubbing elbows? (In other words, "Can I roll out of bed and go unshowered in my pajamas?")

And I need to be able to put it in my day planner.

"Wear something cute. Do your hair and wear some make-up" were my only instructions.

So, the word "mystery" was written in the 3:30 time slot in my day planner (yes, I use a day planner you write in and not some nifty PDA/phone combo device. I feel great satisfaction when I can manually cross things off with my pencil. To know me is to love me.)

And at 3:30 p.m. on Monday, June 22, Aaron arrived home from the office and told me to leave, he'd take care of the girls.

"Where do I go?"

He told me that on the front seat was a letter that would give me my first set of instructions along with a really nice CD he burned for me.

I went on a very well-thought-out scavenger hunt for all of my "favorite things."

1.) Letter #1 instructed me to go to Tim Horton's, ask for Donovan and tell him who I was.
2.) Upon arriving at Tim Horton's, Donovan wished me a Happy Anniversary, poured my coffee just the way I like it and gave me a box of 10 doughnuts along with my next clue. (Everything along the way was prepaid by the way - so Aaron had physically gone to all these locations to make the arrangements).
3.) My next clue sent me to Target with a $100 gift card and an hour to burn through it and instructions to look in the glove compartment of the car for my next clue upon successfully spending my gift card. And I spent it all on me. I didn't buy diapers with it like I usually do whenever I get a Target gift card.
4.) The next clue sent me to the new manicure and pedicure place called LUV out by Lakeside Mall. He arranged for a manicure and pedicure for me, specifically with one of their "less chatty" technicians, because he knows how socially anxious I get when required to chit chat with strangers for extended periods of time. The manager of the store had my next clue.
5.) That clue sent me to Family Bookstore with a gift card - I picked up one of Ted Dekker's Lost Books - and told me where in the car to find my next clue.
6.) And that clue sent me to Abuelo's where Aaron was waiting for me to inform me that after dinner we'd be going to a movie. Then I'd be getting a full night's sleep in a king size bed with a mattress that didn't hurt my back (yay for the Hyatt!) And the next morning, before I picked up the kids from my mother-in-law's, I used a gift card to get some scrapbooking stuff from Archivers.

It was an amazing day! Congratulations to me for marrying the most wonderful guy on the planet!